Absolution
by ihearttony
Summary: Tony the way I like him--a good agent, whumped, PaPa Gibbs, throw in some angst, and stir it all up. Oh, and a dead Allison Hart. Bell uses Tony to get vengeance against Gibbs. Will Tony emerge from prison the same man?
1. Chapter 1

**Tony walked cautiously across the courtyard glancing to the left and right as he approached the wooden picnic table. He was aware of a group of men standing to the side watching him, murmuring in low voices and shifting nervously. Slowing his pace, he prepared for the attack he knew was about to occur. The tall, heavily tattooed leader of the gang called out, "Hey punk, stop, I want to talk to you!" Tony paused, turned and clenched his fists as he faced the wildly grinning man. "Me and you have some business to finish," the tattooed man said fiercely.**

**Tony squinted and sized up his opponent. Although the convicted murderer was a few inches shorter than Tony, he more than made up for that disadvantage with his thickly muscled arms and chest, developed from hours of weight lifting in the prison yard. Cracking his knuckles, the man glared and growled, "You killed one of my men last week, pretty boy, and now you have to pay the price." With a feral smile the man produced a short knife from a pocket of his jeans.**

**Shaking his head and smiling ruefully Tony locked eyes with the man. Not making eye contact was a sign of weakness which Tony could not afford. He had to keep all the advantages he could if he planned on getting out of this latest situation alive. "You know, knives aren't allowed in here--you'll get a week in solitary if any of the guards see you," Dinozzo softly but firmly informed the man.**

"**A week in solitary will be worth watching your ass die. I've done too much to make my reputation in here and I won't let a piece of shit like you take that away from me," the man snarled.**

**At that moment the tattooed man crouched and leapt at Tony, sunlight glinting off the knife as it arced toward Tony's body. The NCIS agent shifted to the left and spun behind his attacker, pulling the knife wielding hand toward the prisoner's own thick torso. The strong man struggled, and Tony felt a burning sensation in his side as the knife cut and penetrated along his body. **

**Ignoring the pain, Tony kicked his opponent's legs out from under him with a sweeping move, then brought his foot heavily down on the man's wrist causing his grip on the now blood-stained weapon to loosen. Grunting, the man dropped the knife which Tony scrambled over to retrieve, grinning as his long fingers closed around the hilt. Turning quickly, Tony kicked out at the man's prone form, making contact with his temple and causing the gang leader to cry out in rage and pain. **

**Standing, the man rushed forward barreling his head into Tony's gut and grabbing him around the waist; the momentum shoving them both into a concrete wall. As the back of Tony's head smacked into the stone, his knees buckled briefly and pain exploded through his skull. Tony then felt a bulging arm press hard against his throat, closing off his airway and causing him to choke. Gripping the knife still in his hand, and without much thought beyond that of his own survival, Tony quickly jammed the blade into the corded neck of the man trying to kill him. As bright red blood sprayed out onto the concrete behind him, Tony closed his eyes and turned his head to avoid the splatter, but he could feel the cold drops as they landed on his cheek. Within seconds the arm fell away from Tony's neck as the man tumbled heavily backward and landed on the dirty ground of the courtyard. **

**Gasping for air, Tony looked up to see if any of the gang leader's followers were ready to step in and take up the fight. Thankfully, none of them moved, just stared at their commander as he clutched his throat while each slowing pulse of his heart shot more crimson blood into the air. Shouts broke the stillness as three armed guards ran up to them, one grabbing Tony and shoving him to the ground while placing a gun barrel between his shoulder blades. The second bent to check the other fighter, who had now ceased struggling and whose wide eyes stared unseeingly at the cloudless blue sky.**

"**He's dead," the guard stated, looking at the others. **

"**Get these men back to their cells," the third guard yelled, "and take this one," he pointed his weapon at Tony, "to the warden."**

**The guards reached for Tony's arms and pulled him roughly from the ground, then marched him toward the interior of the concrete building. He glanced back at the now dead body laying in the courtyard, wondering how many more men he might have to kill before this ordeal was over. "Strike that," he thought somberly. "**_**If **_**this is ever over."**

_**NCISNCISNCIS**_

**The warden leaned back in his chair and pursed his lips at the sight of the man the guards drug into his office. This bastard had been in his prison for two months now, and had proven to be nothing but continual trouble. The money Bell had paid him over the last few months to ensure that the man was kept here, although sizable, was beginning to seem like a small amount compared to the headaches the prisoner was creating. **

**Anthony Dinozzo had changed considerably during the time of his incarceration. The prison commander recalled the cocky and brash personality the agent had displayed the first week he had been brought in on a very sketchy murder charge. The American had been confident his government would quickly have him released--what the man had not realized was that his government, even his teammates, had no idea where Tony was being held. His "murder conviction" wasn't even on the record books. These discrepancies were possible in the corrupt Mexican prison system when enough money changed hands. So as the days turned into weeks, Agent Dinozzo had finally concluded that his survival would not come at the hands of his country--or his friends. His survival had depended on him alone.**

**Now, several months since that first day Dinozzo had been brought to the prison, the somewhat soft and hopelessly optimistic American agent was gone. In his place stood a lean and dark prisoner, who only thought about making it through each individual day of his confinement. The warden didn't need to look at the file laying on his desk to know that this man had already killed two inmates who attacked him, been in numerous fights, and had spent more than his share of time being punished in solitary confinement. **

**Sighing, the warden addressed the prisoner, "So I take it you are claiming self defense in this little altercation?"**

**Tony appeared bored and resigned, "Does it matter?" he shrugged, gazing steadily at the prison official who seemed to relish every opportunity to torment him. "I've already been sentenced to life; what difference does it make?"**

"**It makes a difference as to whether you get to see the light of day during that life," the warden coldly stated as he walked around his desk to get a closer look at the federal agent. DiNozzo was somewhat hunched over, his arm wrapped around his waist. Dark blood oozed from a gash in his shirt. Scrapes, bruises, and yet more blood were evident on his face from the attack, and it was hard to tell what other injuries the man had sustained. "Have you been hurt?" the warden asked--one of Bell's directives had been to keep the American alive and suffering.**

"**I'm fine," Tony responded through clenched teeth, choosing not to reveal the various agonies that were beginning to course through his body.**

"**Good," the warden smiled devilishly, playing along with what he knew was a lie, "then you won't be needing medical attention before spending the next week in solitary confinement."**

**Tilting Tony's chin up to look directly in his green eyes, the warden softly intoned, "You really are getting on my nerves, Agent Dinozzo. If you want your time here to be more tolerable, I suggest you stop causing so much trouble."**

**Tony glared back, but saw no reason to reply. He was at the mercy of this place and nothing he said or did mattered any more.**

"**Take him," the warden ordered. As Tony was led from the office, the prison commander knew there was a chance the injured man would not last a week in solitary, but right now he didn't care. He would rather lose a nice profit than continue to deal with the almost daily occurrences the man seemed to create. Sitting down at his desk, the warden reached for Dinozzo's file. Any evidence of the agent's time at the prison would have to be destroyed upon his death. No paper trail could remain. The ringing desk phone brought him from his reverie. However, the warden nearly dropped the receiver as his secretary informed him of who was holding on the line. NCIS Director Vance was waiting to speak to him.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. If you want to arrest me, please send Michael Weatherly. I promise not to resist.**

**The next few chapters are very hurt/comfort/Papa Gibbs. The action picks up again at the end. **

Tony shifted uncomfortably against the cold damp stone of his cell wall. He sat on the floor, since there was nothing in the room besides him and a few hungry rats and a place to take care of….well, he didn't want to think about that and stayed as far away from that part of the cell as possible. Although, he mused, the stench from this area was impossible to ignore and he wrinkled his nose in disgust. A tiny barred window about ten feet above let in a small shaft of light, as well as stifling heat during the day and bitter cold at night. He had drank some water, but the slop that passed as food sat untouched in the corner since he couldn't bring himself to eat it. The conditions, combined with the knife wound that still throbbed in his side, did not bode well for him surviving the week. The pounding in his head continued at a mind numbing level that made clear thought almost impossible; he gingerly ran his fingers along a blood-matted knot that had formed at the back of his skull. Closing his eyes and carefully leaning his aching body back against the wall, Tony tried to decide how long he had been in this room. It seemed like three or four days had passed, but he wasn't entirely sure of that fact. He knew how the mind could play tricks when given little or no stimulation for long periods of time and his jumbled thought processes didn't help. What he was sure of was that he felt cold, tired, and, for the first time since he found himself here, ready to give up.

A reference to a movie he had seen flitted through his thoughts, but Tony pushed that aside. The days of silly movie references were over, along with the comfort of having his teammates and friends by his side. Early on in his incarceration Tony thought often of the people he considered to be his family, comforted by the belief that soon Gibbs would get him out of this terrible place. But as days upon days passed, Tony became convinced that no one even knew where he was. He had no doubt that if the team knew of his location they would move heaven and earth to release him, so the only possible answer was that they did not know. Tony was completely alone.

An image of the man he had just choked to death floated through his mind. He had killed before, shooting criminals when it was necessary to save his own life or the life of his teammates. But he had never been forced to take another life so personally and brutally as he had over the last few months. What did it mean that killing had come so easily to him and that he felt so little guilt over what he had done? He knew that if forced to, he would kill again if it meant preventing his own death or brutalization. And he was glad that the other scum in this prison knew that about him, too. It would make surviving in here a little easier. Although he wasn't exactly sure how much longer he wanted to survive in here. Never prone to a great deal of self-pity, Tony was ready to wallow in it.

Shifting, a sharp pain stabbed his side, causing Tony to gasp slightly then lift his filthy shirt and examine the knife wound. Although not deep, the cut was several inches long and crusted over with dried blood. The area surrounding the cut was red and inflamed, with pink tendrils creeping outward indicating signs of infection. Without anything to clean the wound Tony was not surprised it had become infected, since his less than five-star accommodations were crawling with every manner of vermin and bacteria imaginable.

Sighing, he lowered his shirt and shut his eyes again, wishing he could sleep, but knowing he had been capable of only a few hours at a time since arriving here. Survival required constant vigilance, and sleep was a luxury he could no longer afford. He fought the rising nausea and dizziness that had been his constant companion since the fight, but finally gave in and leaned over to retch a small amount of water and bile onto the already dirty floor. Sitting back up, he groaned heavily, feeling pain and exhaustion tug at him like a heavy blanket. If this were to be his death, so be it. He had resigned himself to the fact that he would probably never walk out of these cold gray walls, and there was no reason to prolong the inevitable. Giving in, he let himself drift into an oblivion that was preferable to his current stark reality.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

After being waved through the prison gates, Vance parked the rental car in a space next to the entrance. He glanced at Gibbs, who sat next to him saying nothing. The Lead Agent for the Major Crimes Response Team at NCIS had remained silent during the drive from the airport, simply staring straight ahead and nursing his own thoughts. From previous conversations throughout the last two months, Vance knew that Gibbs blamed himself for his Senior Field Agent's disappearance and imprisonment. Gibbs had directed Tony to travel to Mexico and investigate Bell's operation there. Once Tony had been out of contact for too long, Gibbs and the team had traveled to Mexico themselves to locate him. They had found nothing.

Since that time, and with Vance's permission, every spare moment had been spent searching for the missing agent, with only a recent break leading to the fact that Tony had been falsely locked up in one of Mexico's most notorious facilities. After many heated phone calls to Ambassadors and prison officials, it was finally determined that a "mistake" had been made confusing DiNozzo for someone else and that he would be released immediately as long as no further questions were asked regarding the "error." No one would be held accountable for the situation, but at least an international incident would be avoided and Tony would be released. This would have to be good enough _for now_. Despite any differences Vance may have had with Tony in the past, none of his agents deserved to be held in this terrible place, and he was determined to help Gibbs make it right. They would ask more questions once Tony was safely back on American soil.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony blinked and sat up rapidly as the cell door loudly banged open and two guards swarmed inside. Still groggy from lack of sleep and the constant throbbing in his head, Tony was jerked upright and roughly thrown into the wall. His hands were pulled behind his back and handcuffs were tightly placed on his wrists before the guards shoved him out of the cell. Despite his deteriorating physical condition, Tony managed to walk steadily through the darkened hallway, breathing slowly to calm his nerves and preparing himself for whatever else this nightmare was about to bring. Passing a metal doorway, Tony caught a glimpse of his own reflection, momentarily not recognizing the wiry, lethal person who stared back. He grimaced as it occurred to him that he no longer looked much like a college frat boy, but more like the terrorists and psychopaths he spent most of his time trying to arrest.

Looking up he recognized they were once again standing outside the office of the prison warden. One of the guards knocked and was immediately told to enter. Stepping inside the room, Tony was completely taken aback at what he saw, although the only indication he gave of his surprise was a clenching of his jaw and slight intake of breath. The warden sat at his desk as usual, but off to the left stood NCIS Director Vance and Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs eyes quickly glanced up and down his agent, taking in a vast amount of information in just a few moments observation. Vance stepped forward and addressed the warden, "Why is he handcuffed? Take those off immediately."

The warden barely moved at the sound of Vance's terse directions, but nodded slightly at the guard who set about taking off the handcuffs. Tony involuntarily rubbed his wrists, still wary of what was happening.

Vance continued to speak, "I would truly enjoy finding out why our falsely imprisoned federal agent is in such deplorable condition, but since we have a plane waiting with clearance for take off, I suppose those questions will have to wait. But rest assured, warden, those questions will be asked." Vance's low and measured tone of voice clearly conveyed his displeasure with the situation. Tony couldn't help but wonder at the note of protectiveness that he heard in Vance's voice, but the entire situation was too confusing for him to analyze right now.

Still not speaking, Gibbs slowly approached Tony. "Let's go," he said quietly, his blue eyes locking onto the green eyes of his Senior Field Agent. All he could think of at this moment was getting his agent, _his friend,_ out of this hell hole. Gently taking Tony's arm, Gibbs led him from the room with Vance following behind. The warden stood and watched their departure, wondering how much trouble this turn of events was going to bring him, both from his government and from Bell.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

As the rental car sped along the Mexican highway toward the airport, Gibbs glanced over at Tony who sat beside him in the back seat. Upon entering the car Tony still said nothing, just leaned his head back and closed his eyes, immediately falling into a fitful sleep. Gibbs chose not to disturb him, knowing that the next few days were going to be very difficult. He used the time to assess the visible damage to his agent, noting the significant weight loss first, although he was also aware from taking Tony's arm earlier that tightly developed muscle had been added to his frame. Tony had always been athletic, but never one to work out consistently, letting his natural build get him by. But it seemed that many of his recent days had been spent in the prison weight room, carving out muscles and tendons that gave the younger man an angular and sharp appearance he had previously lacked. Dark circles shadowed his eyes, while purple bruises and red scratches completed the evidence of violence to his face. Blood was caked in a clump of hair on the back of his head. Even in sleep Tony continued to cradle his waist with his arm, wincing slightly whenever Vance could not avoid a pothole in the cracked terrain. While walking to the car Gibbs had noticed Tony taking slow and steady steps as if to avoid any jarring of his body, along with a bloody ripped gash in his shirt, which to Gibb's practiced eye further indicated some type of injury to the man's abdominal area. The last point of concern the ex-marine noted was the slight sheen of sweat that glistened across Tony's skin, hinting at a possible fever. Gibbs looked out the window at the terrain speeding by and was glad Ducky had insisted on coming along. He just hoped they had found the young man in time to prevent any of his injuries, both physical and emotional, from becoming permanent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, but really, really wish I did.**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews! They are so encouraging! I apologize for not replying, but trying to work, raise kids, and update this story takes most of my time.**

**BnBfanatic asked for a _slightly_ longer chapter, and this is --a lot longer! (BnBfanatic, you are one of my favorite authors! I love your stories)! This story is finished, so I combined a couple of chapters to arrive at an ending point I like for chapter 3. I'll continue to post a chapter a day until it's completed (there are 4 or 5 more). Remember, we are definitelly into hurt/comfort/and angst here--there is more action later. **

Tony bolted upright at the nudge to his shoulder, cursing himself for falling asleep when he knew that deep sleep left him completely vulnerable to an attack. He had been witness to far too many beatings, murders, and rapes to even remotely risk letting one of those fates befall him. Blinking rapidly, it took him a few seconds to remember he was no longer in that God-forsaken prison, but safely in the company of Gibbs and Vance. Glancing around, he realized they were at the airport, the car having stopped on the tarmac next to the SecNav's private plane. Gibb's was standing in front of him, extending a hand to help him out of the vehicle. Tony ignored the offer, instead gingerly exiting the backseat by himself. He stifled a groan upon noticing that the pain in his side had grown more acute during the short ride to the airport. His head pounded to the point he felt it might explode and he blinked repeatedly as the sunlight stabbed his eyes. He had always been adept at hiding pain or injury, and his skills had grown significantly during his time in prison, but even he realized these conditions were something he would have to deal with soon. Whatever adrenaline had kept him going while incarcerated was quickly ebbing away now that he was back with the team, leaving his body feeling like lead and making the walk across the airfield an effort in endurance.

Gibbs and Vance flanked both sides of Tony, not only for protection but to ensure they were near enough to catch the agent should he collapse. Gibbs wanted desperately to reach out and at least take Tony by the arm to balance his unsteady gait, but at the moment was concerned that physical contact would not be appreciated by the younger man. A pointed glance from Vance indicated that he, too, had noted the skittishness emanating from DiNozzo. Cautiously they hovered nearby as Tony slowly boarded the plane that would soon take him home.

Entering the private jet, Tony quickly found a seat and dropped into it, buckling his seatbelt and once again closing his eyes. He knew that he was shutting out the very people who had come to help him, but he seemed unable to bring himself to even acknowledge them. He was grateful they had finally found him, but a nagging part of his brain kept wondering what had taken them so long. Memories of daily fights to protect himself, long periods of isolation in solitary confinement, and the constant fear of dying there alone assaulted him, bringing with them anger at the length of time he had been left to languish. He wondered if there was a way to scrub his brain clean of the violent and brutal images that seemed to replay on a continual loop through his mind. Exhaustion and the physical effects of the imprisonment crept up on him, reactions he had been forced to keep at bay over the last several months, but now that he was safe the effects seemed ready to overwhelm him.

The smell of sawdust and Old Spice brought Tony back to awareness. He must have zoned out and Gibbs had taken the seat next to him. "Tony," he said softly, "You awake?"

"Yeah," Tony said, keeping his eyes closed to the dim lights of the plane.

"Ducky would like to take a look at you if that's ok. There's a separate room at the back of the plane where he has all his stuff set up," Gibbs quietly explained. He had considered letting Tony sleep longer, but over the last few minutes the agent had started to look flushed with more signs of perspiration on his face and clothes. And to be honest, the sight of his usually immaculate Senior Field Agent appearing so dirty and ragged was not something he could bear much longer.

Tony finally opened his eyes and met Gibbs' gaze with his own. "Sure," he said, again ignoring the hand offered to assist him, getting out of his seat and painfully making his way to the back of the plane on his own.

Gibbs watched him go, wondering at Tony's silence and refusal to accept his help. He didn't expect the same exuberance the agent normally showed, but he had at least expected the man to display some type of reaction to his rescue. When Ziva had been brought back from Somalia she too had been quiet, however she had quickly readapted to their old routines. But Ziva was different, more accustomed to atrocities and the unkindness of humanity, having grown up with them her entire life. Despite any experiences Tony had endured in his past, nothing had prepared him for this type of isolation and torture. "_And it's all my fault_,"Gibbs thought, rubbing his chin and contemplating what to do next.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

"Hey, Ducky," Tony said as he stepped into the small room at the rear of the SecNav's private jet. "Long time, no see."

"Anthony, my dear boy," Ducky practically cooed, taking Tony by the arm and leading him over to a small medical bed that had been placed in the center of the room. He gave Tony a quick and gentle hug. "I have missed you terribly. Have a seat and let me look at you. It appears you have been through quite an ordeal!"

After the injured agent was seated on the table, Ducky took out a light and shined it in Tony's eyes, The light intensified Tony's headache and he involuntarily flinched at the doctor's movements. "Does the light hurt your eyes?" Ducky inquired softly.

"Uh, yeah," Tony replied, fighting a wave of nausea. As Ducky ran his hand across the raised area on Tony's head, the young man flinched again.

"Have you experienced any other symptoms of concussion? Vomiting? Stiff neck? How did this injury occur?" The kindly doctor questioned.

"I was in a fight and my head bounced off a concrete wall. And yes to all of the above," Tony explained, wearily rubbing his eyes. He didn't think there was any point in trying to hide his rather obvious injuries.

"Well, don't you worry, we'll have you better in no time. Do you mind if we take your shirt off so I can get a better look at things?" the doctor gingerly requested, being respectful of the loss of control Tony had so recently experienced as a prisoner.

Tony shrugged and began removing the filthy shirt that he had been wearing for more days than he could recall. It was definitely a far cry from his usual designer label. Carefully moving to unbutton the shirt and pull it off, he could not avoid wincing from the sharp and burning pain in his side. "Oh my," Ducky clucked upon seeing the ragged knife wound that penetrated Tony's abdomen. Ducky began carefully exploring the inflamed area with gloved hands. "It looks like a small, but quite dirty blade is what caused this nasty cut. Am I correct?" Doctor Mallard inquired, lifting his eyes to glance at Tony, noting the younger man's pink tinged cheeks but otherwise ashen color.

Tony leaned back on his elbows as Ducky continued the examination, fighting the desire to curl up and go to sleep. "Yeah, Ducky, you're right as usual, " Tony replied quietly. He was quickly wearing out and seemed to be having a difficult time keeping his heavy-lidded eyes open.

"This is going to have to be thoroughly cleaned and stitched up, Tony. Why don't you lay back in bed while I get my supplies ready," Ducky said, already helping the weakened man to lay down on the examination table. "I also think we need to start some IV antibiotics in order to get a handle on what appears to be a very nasty infection." Mallard patted Tony's arm and continued, "You know, this reminds me of a young man who escaped from a prison camp in Mongolia….." As Ducky rubbed an alcohol wipe over his patient's dirty arm and inserted the IV needle, Tony shut his eyes and let the ME's story drone in the background, feeling somewhat soothed by the old doctor's ministrations and familiar touch. However, the unwelcome face of a broken and battered prisoner pushed its way into the front of his thoughts. "Don't go there," Tony silently commanded himself, trying to focus only on the Medical Examiner's words. "Don't go there," he whispered out loud, causing Ducky to pause in his story and wonder what experience his friend was trying to forget.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Quietly closing the door to the back of the plane, Ducky walked over to where Gibbs and Director Vance were seated. The older man noted the signs of stress and worry in the pinched lines of Gibb's countenance. "How is Agent DiNozzo doing?" Vance asked the elderly doctor.

Taking off his glasses and pinching his nose, Ducky took a seat and summarized the agent's injuries for the other two. And even though Gibbs had not asked the question himself, Ducky directed his reply to the former Marine, "Tony is suffering from dehydration and possible malnutrition. He has several cracked ribs, a moderate to severe concussion, numerous bruises and abrasions, and is completely exhausted. The most obvious injury is a long cut along his abdomen that has become quite infected. As a result he has a fever that I am trying to bring down. I have already started him on antibiotics and morphine, but I recommend that we take him to Bethesda as soon as we arrive back in DC. He will need to be hospitalized for at least a few days to treat these injuries and allow his body and mind some much needed rest."

Gibbs finally spoke, "Did he say anything about what happened to him?" The medical examiner shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knew that Gibbs felt intense guilt over Anthony's abduction, and he hated to make the man feel worse, but the truth had to be told. "Anthony was not very talkative, Jethro. But when I directly asked him about the injuries, he said they were inflicted by a gang leader who attacked him around four days ago. The prison officials provided no medical treatment, but instead placed Anthony in solitary confinement as a punishment for the fight. He was there until the time he was brought to you and the Director."

The three men remained silent for several minutes, processing what had been inflicted on their colleague and friend. Vance once again broke the silence, "Gibbs, do you think Tony has any idea why he was targeted? Does he realize that Bell was trying to get back at you for imprisoning him?"

Gibbs rubbed his temples absentmindedly, "I doubt that Tony has any knowledge of what is going on. He's been shut up in prison and tortured for months--I'm sure the only thing he's been thinking about is why it's taken us so long to get him out!" Abruptly Gibbs stood and walked toward the back of the plane.

Entering the small room Gibbs walked over to stand by Tony who was now sleeping deeply on the examination table with a lightweight sheet thrown over him. How could he tell Tony that the reason Bell had used him as a vehicle for revenge was because of their own long connection and friendship? Over the years he had grown closer to Tony than any of his other agents, considering him a surrogate son. Tony would never know it, but Gibbs actually enjoyed most of the younger man's antics, realizing they were the product of an over active and intelligent mind. He had always felt that Tony was an outstanding investigator and agent, but he also realized that few members of the team, including himself, ever acknowledged the fact. They took Tony for granted, and it wasn't until he was gone that any of them faced exactly how much he was needed, and missed.

Clenching and unclenching his fists in barely controlled rage, Gibbs replayed in his mind the last conversation he had with Colonel Merton Bell. The phone call had come through to Gibbs' phone as unavailable, and when he answered Gibbs had been praying it was Tony. But the minute he heard Bell's voice, he finally understood the depths of Tony's predicament.

"_So, Agent Gibbs, I hear you're missing one of your agents. DiNozzo isn't it? I thought it was time I called and offered my condolences. It must be difficult to have someone so close to you disappear without a trace," Bell practically hissed into the phone. _

_Gibbs felt that all the air had left his body. "What do you know about it Bell? Is this your way of telling me you care?" he baited the other man, hoping for a reaction. In the space of seconds, Gibbs realized this phone call could be what they needed to find Tony. However, he silently cursed himself for never considering that Bell might have been involved in the abduction._

_Bell laughed, "I just wanted to remind you, Agent Gibbs, that when we met before I suggested you hit me hard enough to take me down. You didn't take my advice, so now you have to pay the price for underestimating me. Sending me to prison for two months was not the way to get on my good side."_

_The ex-Marine's anger bubbled over, "Why Tony? If you wanted to get back at me, why not hit me instead of him? Your arrest was my call, not his."_

"_Ah, but that wouldn't really punish you, would it Agent Gibbs? My research indicated that your team means more to you than your own life ever could, and DiNozzo in particular is like a son to you. So it made sense to take away someone that you care about, that you couldn't protect." Bell paused. "Was I right?"_

_Gibbs seethed, "If you have harmed him in any way, I swear there is no place on this planet you can hide from me. Nothing will stop me from killing you."_

_Once again, Bell laughed, "Your bullshit might scare some people, Gibbs, but I've been playing this game for a long time and I have no fear of men like you. Go ahead and make your threats, and we'll see who is still standing at the end of all this." He lowered his voice, "But I can bet it won't be DiNozzo. Goodbye, Agent Gibbs."_

_Dead air filled Gibb's ear for several seconds before he threw the phone into the wall and smashed it into pieces._

Suddenly Tony shivered and shifted slightly on the too small bed drawing Gibb's mind from the recollection. Gibbs grabbed a towel off the side table to wipe the sweat from Tony's forehead. Sighing heavily, the older man gently patted Tony on the shoulder. As Gibbs walked back out to the others, he couldn't help wondering how he would ever make this right with Tony.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

The injured agent continued to sleep for the remainder of the flight. Shortly before landing, Ducky re-assessed Tony's vital signs, shaking his head and muttering at the elevated temperature reading of 102.1. Gibbs had hovered around Tony for most of the flight, occasionally placing his hand on the man's forehead while pushing back the uncharacteristically long and tangled hair. Gibbs trusted his own touch more than a thermometer, and his hand told him that Tony's fever was climbing dangerously high. Finally, Tony opened his eyes and wearily glanced around, once again having to orient himself to his location, "Hey, Boss," he croaked, attempting to sit up.

Gibbs grinned at the reference and gently pushed Tony back down on the bed. "Hold on there, son. You don't need to be doing that right now," he said softly.

Tony closed his eyes briefly, internally struggling with the continued loss of control over what was happening to him. He was still somewhat shocked at the sudden change of circumstances, having believed only hours previously that his destiny was to die far away from home and those he loved. Spending months with every minute dictated by guards and prison routines, he wished for nothing more than to be in his own home deciding when to get up, take a shower, and fix something to eat. But based on the agony in his side, tremors through his body, and fussing from Ducky, it was obvious he wasn't going home right away. The soft and gentle tone Gibbs was currently using to speak to him was the icing on the cake.

"You want me to go the hospital, don't you?" he asked shakily, looking back and forth between Gibbs and Ducky, trying, unsuccessfully, to get his eyes to focus.

The ME kindly placed his hand on Tony's fevered arm, "Anthony, I know you would like to avoid any further confinement. But as your doctor I must insist you receive the best medical care that is needed for your current condition. The injuries you have sustained can be dangerous, and the equipment in a hospital is necessary to clear them up. Please trust that Gibbs and I have your best interests at heart."

Considering these words, Tony also realized that the way he was now feeling would probably make it difficult to just get out of bed. He couldn't muster the energy or desire to do anything more than sleep and try to block out everything that had happened. Settling his eyes on Gibbs, Tony simply said, "Fine," and once again shut his eyes to the world.

Gibbs cast a worried glare at Ducky, both of them keenly aware that a DiNozzo who didn't fight a trip to the hospital was a DiNozzo not in his normal state of mind.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Gibbs sipped his second cup of coffee and stood to pace the hospital waiting room yet again. Upon arriving at the emergency room, Ducky had gone back with Tony, and Gibbs had been left to wait for his return. "Enough is enough," he decided, determined to go in search of information for himself. Just as he started down the hallway toward the emergency room doors, he heard Ducky call his name.

"Took you long enough," Gibbs let his irritation show, "What the hell is going on?"

Mallard sighed and ran a hand through his gray hair. "Well, Jethro, it definitely could be worse. The knife wound has been cleaned and the physicians are monitoring whether further treatment is necessary. If the infection turns out to be resistant to antibiotics, the infected area might have to be surgically removed. His fever, however, is still elevated and has actually increased somewhat, and although that is just his body's way of fighting the infection it is causing him a great deal of discomfort. Our other concern is the obvious effects of a more serious concussion than what I at first diagnosed. A CT scan determined there is some swelling in the brain that will need to be closely watched." Ducky paused, "He has been admitted to ICU for the time being in order to monitor these myriad of issues."

"And you think it could be worse?" Gibbs barked. He tried to calm himself so he wouldn't take out his frustration on his old friend. "Can I see him?" he asked, somewhat more calmly.

Dr. Mallard smiled, "I was expecting the request and have prepared the ICU staff for your arrival. Follow me."

_NCISNCISNCIS_

As Gibbs entered the small ICU room, a nurse finished placing a nasal cannula under Tony's nose and then moved toward the door. She smiled at the two men and instructed them to call should she be needed. "He looks like crap," the older agent sagely observed, taking a seat next to the bed.

"Yes, Jethro, but at least he is back with us now where we can help him heal," Ducky replied. "Have you contacted Abby or the rest of the team to let them know Tony has been safely returned?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head, "Do you think you could give them a call? If Abby finds out from Vance she'll have both our heads."

The doctor nodded in agreement, "You are very right, my boy. I will step out and call her immediately."

"You know, if this is my homecoming party it really sucks," Tony stated softly, gazing at Gibbs through cloudy and half-slitted eyes.

"I didn't have time to hire a clown," Gibbs teased, glad to see his agent awake and showing some of his trademark sarcasm. "You're supposed to be asleep."

"I've never been able to sleep well while I'm being poked and prodded like a Thanksgiving turkey," Tony replied, coughing slightly and grimacing at the pain it provoked in various parts of his body. Gibbs moved closer to the edge of the bed in case his agent needed help. Tony shook his head, once again refusing the other man's assistance, finished coughing and settled back on the pillow. Seeing Gibbs there by his bedside, face etched with worry, Tony really didn't want to be angry at the older man. But right now, Tony was mad at the world, and his Boss was an easy target for that frustration.

He stared up at Gibbs, eyes wide and serious, "You know, I really did think I was going to die there." His quiet voice held an uncharacteristic bitterness.

Gibbs laid his hand on Tony's arm, grateful that the other man didn't flinch away, "Did you think we were going to leave you behind? That _I_ would leave you?" The ex-Marine shook his head forcefully, "You know me better than that."

"I knew you wouldn't leave me there on purpose," Tony said carefully, avoiding Gibb's stare. "But I thought that maybe you couldn't do anything about it. Which didn't make sense because you're Gibbs and you can always do something about it." He tried to collect his thoughts around the pounding headache and fuzziness in his brain. "When I realized no one was coming I thought about giving up, but I just couldn't for some reason. It was like an instinct to survive took over and I did whatever I had to in order to make it through another day." He still refused to look directly at Gibbs, "I had to do some really bad things."

After a pause to control the wash of memories, Tony continued, "I probably shouldn't have made it through the first week in there. The only way I did was to become like one of them and forget who I was before. Now," he glanced around the impossibly clean and sterile hospital room, so different from the prison cell he was in only yesterday, "I guess I'm supposed to go back to being good old Tony. Always ready to provide comic relief and take the blame for all the screw-ups."

He finally met the icy-blue gaze. "I don't know if I can do that anymore, Boss," he said in a whisper cold as steel. "I don't know if I even want to."

The pain in Tony's eyes startled Gibbs. He wasn't sure what Tony wanted from him, but he did his best to reassure his friend that whatever had happened, it was all right. "Tony, all I care about is that you survived. You came back. It's like being in war, son, you sometimes do things you never wanted to believe you could, but you aren't given any choices. And it's not always easy to live with, but you deal with it the best you can and move on. I know that you only did what you were forced to do to survive, nothing more."

Tony stared blankly at the ceiling, somewhat calmer, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But for some reason that doesn't make it any easier." He coughed again, longer and harder this time so that Gibbs decided to sit him up a little and pat his back until the hacking subsided. The weakened agent didn't resist his friend's help. Finally, Tony lay back again, exhausted, as Gibbs took a cold, wet cloth from the table and wiped the younger man's face.

"How do you feel?" Gibbs asked.

Tony considered that a moment and solemnly replied, "Old."

Gibbs grinned and said, "Well, you'll always be younger than me, DiNozzo. So you're still a probie--_my probie_. Don't forget that." He gently tapped Tony on the top of the head as a reminder.

A ghost of a smile crossed Tony's tired face. He recognized the affection behind the words. And no matter what had happened in Mexico, it was good to be reminded that Gibbs always had his six.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony awoke to the sound of a beeping heart monitor and hushed voices. Despite his still throbbing headache, he was aware that the voices were arguing. "He looks like a warmed up dead body," Ziva whispered, taking in the sweaty, pale, and bruised appearance of her partner.

"I think you mean _death warmed over," _McGee corrected, "but I have to agree that he looks awful. Maybe even worse than when he had the plague. Check out that hair! I've never seen Tony's hair that long."

"Cut it out guys," Abby warned, "he might be able to hear you. We should only be saying positive things so we can help Tony feel better. And besides, if we're not good the ICU nurses will throw us out!"

"I agree with Abby, " Tony said, cracking an eye to look at them. "It's bad etiquette to talk about someone while they're unconscious. And no, McSuave, I didn't have time to make an appointment with the prison beautician. The gangsters and serial killers always seemed to get in ahead of me."

"You're awake!"' Abby squealed and launched herself at Tony, wrapping her arms around him in a firm but gentle hug, making sure to avoid the IV lines and monitor wires. "You've had me so worried," she said softly in his ear, then gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, Abs," Tony replied, giving her a small but genuine smile. The goth was like his little sister, and he loved her as much as the real thing, so he decided not to avoid her gentle hugs and kisses, despite how awkward it felt to have someone touching him after so long. She carefully perched herself on the edge of the bed and took his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together so he couldn't let go. It was a small gesture, but one that brought Tony more comfort than he could have imagined. Abby always knew the right thing to do.

"Tony," McGee started, "Sorry about the comment. I really didn't…"

Tony interrupted the younger agent's apology, "It's ok, Tim. Trust me, if I look anything like I feel, I would have to resemble one of Ducky's bodies after spending a few days in a drawer." The pain in his head continued to reverberate and the light in the room hurt his eyes, making him squint to see his teammates clearly. Despite his attempt at cheerfulness, his fevered brain was having a difficult time following their conversation. The desire to just shut down and go to sleep was back with full force. Tony doubted there was any way he could stand them asking any questions about the prison right now.

"McGee and I can't stay," Abby was saying, "we have work on a case that needs finishing up. But I'll be back as soon as I can! And Ziva has promised to hang with you until Gibbs gets back." She hopped off the bed and gave his hand a squeeze. Leaning in close, she met his green eyes with her own and said, "I love you, Anthony DiNozzo, you know that. Right?"

"I know, Abs. I love you, too," Tony replied, trying to smile at her through the knife-sharp pain that was now piercing the back of his skull. His side had started aching and he was really cold. Putting on a brave face for Abby, he managed a weak grin.

"Good," she nodded. "Come on McGee, the faster we get done the faster I come back." Grabbing Tim's arm she dragged him out of the room.

Now that they were alone, Ziva stepped forward and studied Tony closely, taking in the pinched look of pain and tremors that he was unable to hide. "I really do understand what you are going through," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Gee, thanks, Zee-vah," Tony said, trying to sound glib, but it came out rather strained and petulant. Ziva's dark eyes were staring through him, and he knew he should appreciate her concern, but he felt too tired at the moment to say anything remotely normal. He turned his face away from her and stared bleakly out the window, unable to keep his guard up any longer. Memories from the past few months flooded over him again, as he felt his breath become shallow and white lights flashed across his vision. Nausea built in his throat and he swallowed hard to try and will it away. He really didn't want to lose it in front of Ziva .

The Israeli's eyes narrowed as she watched her partner struggle. She hated that Tony had been through such a disturbing experience and she wanted to help him--aware that perhaps she was the only person with any idea what he had endured. She rubbed her small hand along his arm and hoped he would find the physical contact reassuring. A soft smile graced her lips as she saw some of the tension in his face ease away as his eyes slipped close.

For a few minutes she continued to massage his arm, thinking Tony had fallen asleep. Surprising her, he murmured quietly, "Thank you, Ziva. I know you're trying to help. It's just……" Tony couldn't find the words to describe his feelings.

"You do not have to talk about what happened, Tony. Only if you think it will help you feel better," Ziva assured him.

After another long pause, Tony lowered his gaze from hers and said, "I've always teased you about being an assassin. But I need to know," his fevered green eyes met hers, "have you ever killed someone with your bare hands? Watched that person's life slip away while you stared into their eyes? Felt the body go limp in your hands while your heart pumped and blood raced with excitement from realizing that his death meant your own life would continue? Have you ever beaten someone to the point that your own hands bled, but you still couldn't make yourself stop? And some part of you enjoyed it?" Tony could hear his voice growing louder as he leaned up on his elbows, losing himself in the recollection of what he had done and unable to control the vice-like agony that was building in his brain.

Ziva was shocked at the intensity of the injured man's questions, but she answered truthfully despite her growing concern over his agitation and grey pallor, "Yes, Tony I have. Now please, calm down and we can talk….."

But the opportunity to discuss his revelation never came, Suddenly, Tony's entire body stiffened and he dropped back down on the bed. His eyes glazed over and harsh convulsions shook his thin frame.

"Tony!" Ziva cried, grabbing for the button to call for help. The ICU nurse had already noticed the change in her patient's condition, bursting into the room with a doctor, followed closely by Gibbs, who took Ziva by the arm and moved her out of the way of the medical team. The two stood by in silence as the doctor turned Tony slightly on his side and the nurse injected medication into the IV line. Minutes slowly passed as Tony continued to twitch and stiffen, eventually relaxing as the seizure let go of his body. The heart monitor continued to beat out an uneven rhythm that seemed to be slowing too much.

"Is he ok?" Gibbs asked, stepping toward the bed.

The doctor turned a harried look at the federal agents, "No, he is not. Please, I need to ask you to wait outside while we stabilize your friend."

The last words Gibbs heard as he and Ziva were ushered from the room were, "He's not breathing."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from NCIS. But I obviously daydream about it a lot.**

**The next chapter has a lot of hurt/comfort cliches, but with my own spin. I kind of like it, and I hope you do to.**

**My medical knowledge is limited to episodes of House and a little internet research. Please forgive any mistakes; the situations are only meant to move along the plot.**

Gibbs ran a hand through his silver hair and crushed the empty coffee cup in his hand. Throwing the mangled Styrofoam into a trash can, he paced over to a window and stared out at a dismal parking lot glistening in the rain. There were many things in his life that he had reason to regret. His recent relationship with Tony was one of those regrets.

He had worked with Tony for almost ten years--longer than he had partnered with anyone else, including Mike Franks. But over the last two years Gibbs knew he had grown distant from the younger man. Jenny's death had effected them all, but Tony had blamed himself, and truth be told Gibbs had held him somewhat responsible, too. Logically, the senior agent knew that Jenny had wanted her life to end the way it did, on her own terms, and no one could have prevented her from getting what she wanted. But he had needed someone to blame, and Tony had been a convenient target. Even after Tony had returned from being Agent Afloat, the two of them had never discussed Jenny's death. They simply ignored it, and tried to go on as if nothing ever happened. But the relationship, the friendship, had been different. Tony had been different. Gibbs couldn't count the times he had almost said something to Tony, had tried to get it all back on track, but he had never found the words. Although it had been easier recently, with "cowboy style" steak dinners and an old sense of camaraderie finding its way back into their lives, he still hadn't done enough to alleviate his friend's guilt.

But if Tony didn't come back from this, if he died, Gibbs would not forgive himself for never saying the words.

"How about a refill?" a feminine voice asked as a fresh cup of coffee appeared out of the corner of Gibb's eye.

He took the cup, sipped, and asked, "What are you doing here?" He turned to face M. Allison Hart.

She sighed and sipped her own coffee. "I heard about Tony and wanted to see if you were ok, if you needed anything." She offered a thin smile, "I was concerned."

Gibbs turned to face her. "I thought you might be trying to gather some more intel for your boss. Maybe let him know if he needs to show up and try to kill Tony himself," he challenged.

"Gibbs," she started, struggling to find the right words. "I really didn't know what Bell planned to do. He said that you had him falsely imprisoned and he wanted me to see if we needed to pursue legal action against you. Once you and I met, I quickly realized that you would never have sent Bell away without cause." She took a breath, "I only found out about what he did to Tony a few days ago. By that time you were already in Mexico having him released."

She locked gazes with Gibbs, "Will Tony be alright?" she asked.

Gibbs looked out the window again. "He's hanging in there," he replied. "You _can_ do something for me," he said abruptly, turning back until his blue eyed gaze met her own. "Take a message to your employer. You tell him this isn't over yet. When I take him down this time, he won't be getting back up." Gibbs words were soft and threatening.

Hart tentatively placed her hand on the older man's shoulder. "Be careful, Gibbs. Bell is capable of anything. He'll hurt anyone to get his revenge."

"_So will I,"_ Gibbs thought menacingly, the memory of Tony writhing in pain still fresh in his mind.

As she turned to leave, Gibbs reached out to stop her. "Would you be willing to help me put Bell away? For good this time?" he asked, not sure if he should trust this woman, but at this point the had little else to go on. "No one else can get as close to him as you."

Hart considered his request, noting the lines of pain and worry crossing Gibbs face. "I'll see what I can do," she replied.

Before the agent could say anything else, she hurried through the door and was gone.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Gibbs looked over as McGee and Ziva re-entered the waiting area carrying cups of coffee for themselves and for him. He silently took the steaming liquid and sipped it despite the burning on his tongue.

McGee shifted nervously and asked, "You heard anything, boss?"

"No. Ducky just went to see if he could get some news," Gibbs explained.

McGee looked at the floor, "You know, I really wish I had a chance to talk to Tony after you brought him back. While he was gone I realized that, well, Tony…..Ah heck, I don't know."

Ziva patted his arm, "I'm sure we all have thought of things we would like to tell Tony. It is easy to forget that for all of his bravado he is probably more sensitive than any of us. And he has always been a true and loyal friend, even when he is teasing us without mercy." She smiled sadly, "I think we have taken him for granted."

"What, have you heard, anything?" Abby demanded, rushing into the room while wringing her hands.

Gibbs took his forensic scientist into a hug, "Not a word since he had the seizure."

"But Ziva said he stopped breathing…." Abby's voice shook with fear.

"I am happy to report that the doctors now have young Anthony stabilized," Doctor Mallard interrupted, stepping into the ICU waiting area. The members of the team visibly relaxed at his words.

Knowing they wanted an explanation for Tony's condition, the diminutive ME continued, "Tony did stop breathing following a grand mal seizure resulting from a subdural hematoma. The bleeding in his brain must have been occurring slowly since the event which caused his concussion…."

Gibbs face darkened with concern, "Bleeding in his brain?"

"Yes, Jethro. The condition is not that uncommon with serious head trauma, which is why a concussion is always monitored so carefully. The blood has now collected between the layers of the brain and caused significant swelling which is the reason for the seizure you witnessed, as well as the respiratory distress," Mallard continued.

"What now," Ziva implored, "Will he recover?"

"Now," Ducky said, "We wait on Tony. The hematoma could dissolve on its own over the next few hours. If it does not, surgery can be performed to drain the area and reduce the swelling. However, there is no reason to suspect that he will not recover fully." Mallard paused, "In order to assist with his breathing Tony has been placed on a respirator for the time being. It should be removed as soon as he regains consciousness and the swelling is resolved."

"How long do they think that will take?" McGee asked tensely.

"Approximately 24 to 48 hours. Until then, we should all remain strong for Tony. He has just returned to us, and we will not let him down now," the doctor declared firmly.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Gibbs was once again sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside Tony's bed. The past 24 hours had shown some change in the young man's condition, with the doctor's reporting that the swelling had started to diminish and the hematoma appeared to be resolving without the need for surgery. Gibbs was concerned since Tony had still not regained consciousness. The sight of the normally hyperactive man laying completely still, attached to more tubes and wires than Gibbs could identify, was extremely disconcerting. The constant and consistent whoosh of the ventilator droned in the background. Gibbs exhaustion overtook him and he fell into a fitful sleep.

"_Well, this is weird," Tony thought, standing in the doorway of the ICU room and watching Gibbs fall asleep in the chair. "I look like crap," he said out loud, observing himself lying inert in the bed. Doctors and nurses continued to walk by without noticing him. _

"_You're right Tony, you do look like crap," that voice, he thought, it can't be. _

"_Kate?" he asked, turning around. _

_She was standing by the nurse's station, wearing a provocatively short nursing outfit unbuttoned dangerously low. She glanced down, following his eyes to her cleavage. "DiNozzo! Why do your fantasies always have to turn x-rated!" she snapped. She walked over to him, glaring in his eyes, "You never change, do you?" _

_Tony looked down at his former friend and partner, hardly believing that he was talking to her again. A part of his mind acknowledged that this couldn't be real, but another part felt this was just as real as anything else that had happened over the last few months. "Kate," he said again, his voice thick with emotion, and he hugged her tightly. Kate returned the gesture, finally pulling back but continuing to hold his hand. "I've missed you so much," he said. "You were always able to help me keep my head on straight. Things lately, it's been…..hard." _

"_I know, Tony," she said, walking through the door of his room so she could watch Gibbs sleep. "I've been keeping an eye on everyone." Tony followed her into the room, as she stopped by Gibbs and brushed his hair back into place. Gibbs stirred, but didn't wake. _

_Kate turned to Tony and smiled, "There is someone I want you to talk to. A new friend of mine I think you'll like." She took Tony's hand again and led him out of the room. Stepping through the door, Tony found himself outside, standing in a small park. Everything was bright and lovely, with morning dew glistening off the green lawn and swaying trees. A dark haired little girl was playing on a swing while her mother watched. A short distance away, a slender woman stood by a bench, her back to them, watching the mother and daughter. Tony took in the short spiky red hair and immediately knew who Kate had taken him to see. "Jenny!" he cried, and moved toward her. _

_Former NCIS Director Jenny Shepard turned to greet him, a large smile bursting onto her face. "Oh, Tony," she said, taking his face into her hands before kissing him on the cheek. She stepped back and focused on him. "DiNozzo," she said, "You look like crap." _

_Tony laughed despite himself. "So I've been told," he agreed. He took both of her hands into his, not knowing how much time he had to talk to her. There was so much he needed to say, but all that came out was, "Jenny, I'm so sorry." _

_The look on Jenny's face was so full of kindness, of understanding, that it nearly broke Tony's heart. She cupped his face in her hand again and said, "Tony, you have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who needs to apologize to you. I should have never put you in that position, knowing that I had no intention of coming back to DC. I took advantage of you, of your faith in me, and that was wrong. I have watched you suffer and punish yourself for my death, but none of it was your fault. Please believe that Tony. I don't want you to go on hating yourself for my weakness. I couldn't face dying in a hospital bed; I had to go out my own way. I used you Tony, and I'm the one who is sorry." _

_He reached out and wiped away the tear that fell from her eye. "You were my friend, Jenny, I shouldn't have let you die." _

_Jenny shook her head, "You didn't let me die, Tony, anymore than you let Kate die. Sometimes terrible things happen to people, but you can't go on blaming yourself. It's time for you to let it go and move on. The greatest gift you could give me is to live your life and be happy." _

_Tony wanted to believe her, but he had lived with the guilt for so long it was difficult to release. But Jenny's smile was so warm, her words so sincere, and Kate was agreeing--maybe they were right. Tony smiled, "OK, Jenny, for you and Kate, I would do anything." _

_Just then, the little girl came running over, breathing hard and laughing as her mother ran up behind her. "Jenny, is this my Daddy's friend that you told me about?" the child asked. _

_Jenny grinned at the beautiful little girl, who was looking at Tony expectantly. "Yes, Kelly, this is Tony. He helps keep your Dad safe," Jenny said. _

_Kelly ran over to Tony and threw her arms around him, "Oh, thank you, Tony," she said. "I worry about my Daddy sometimes, but Jenny and Kate said that you would never let anyone hurt him. It makes me feel better to know that you're there with him." _

_Tony bent down to get a better look at the child's bright blue eyes. He could feel the sting of tears in his own. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kelly. I've heard so many things about you. You are just as gorgeous as your Daddy said you were," Tony declared._

_Tony then gave Gibb's daughter one of his mega-watt Tony DiNozzo smiles, the first time he had smiled that way in a long time. The little girl giggled and ran back over to her mother, who said, "We are both very grateful that Jethro has a friend like you, Tony. You and I both know he doesn't always take enough care of himself." _

_Tony nodded at Shannon, "Yeah, if he'd only follow his own rules he wouldn't get in as much trouble." _

_Shannon laughed, "About those rules, Tony, you should tell him that you know it was me who got that started. He's taken credit for that long enough!" _

_"You came up with the rules?" Tony repeated. "I can't believe it! I should have known he didn't think of that on his own!" _

"_Yeah," Kate chuckled, "I was just as shocked as you are!" _

_Tony felt so good to be surrounded by all these people who loved him, he was beginning to wonder if they might let him stay. Sensing his mood, Kate took him by the hand again. _

"_Tony," she said, "It's time to go back." Tony began to protest, "I like it here, Kate, I don't think I want to return." _

_Kate shook her head, "You have to go back, who'll watch Gibbs six?" Plus, you promised Kelly." Kate knew how Tony felt about their Boss, and he couldn't argue once she played the Gibbs card. _

_She saw him sigh, "Ok, Katie." He placed his hands on her shoulders, "I'm still not sure if this is real or not, but thank you, Kate. I really needed to see all of you again." _

_Kate smiled, "I know, Tony. It's my job to watch over you, but I have to say you don't always make it easy." _

_Tony turned on the 1,000 watt smile again and grinned, "Oh, and before I go, I need to point out that you do look hot in that outfit!" _

_Kate snorted at the mischievous leer Tony was giving her. "Come on, DiNozzo, let's get you back before you manage to get yourself thrown out."_

_Tony found himself once again standing in his hospital room watching Gibbs (and himself) sleeping. Kate was gone. He wondered if he actually could choose whether or not to return. He wondered if going back was really worth it. At that moment, Gibbs eyes popped open and he leaned toward the figure in the bed, some small sound having caught his attention. The grizzled marine glanced at the monitors and once again took a damp cloth and wiped perspiration from Tony's brow, moving with a gentleness most would never witness from the man. It was a gesture that DiNozzo could only describe as……fatherly. He thought about Kelly and his promise to her._

_It was then Tony knew he had to find a way back, no matter what the cost. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, I am just slightly obsessed with it.**

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I never realized just how inspirational they are--hearing your thoughts makes me want to review, revise, and make the story better. So definitely keep them coming!**

**A slightly longer chapter focused primarily on hurt/comfort/and family. At the end we get another visit from our favorite sultry attorney. Can Gibbs resist her seductive charms? We'll see!**

Gibbs drowsily glanced over at Tony, drawn to what appeared to be a twitch of his hand. Gibbs leaned closer--the hand was now moving, clutching at the white sheets of the bed. "Tony," Gibbs whispered, standing near his friend's ear, "Can you hear me?"

Tony's eyelids fluttered as his head began to shift slightly. Gibbs reached over and pressed the call button to summon medical assistance. He watched closely as Tony slowly cracked his eyes open. Although unfocused, Gibbs could clearly see the fear. He placed his hand on the younger man's arm as DiNozzo's eyes opened wider and he began to struggle against the tube in his throat. Despite the forced rise and fall of his chest, Tony felt that he was suffocating. "Calm down, Tony," the older man whispered into his ear. "You have a respirator tube in your throat. It's there to help you breathe, so let it. Don't fight, you'll just make it hurt worse."

Unable to fully move his head, Tony turned his eyes toward Gibb's and silently pleaded with him for help. Gibbs could clearly remember his own fear upon waking up attached to a respirator. He placed his other hand on Tony's forehead and said softly, "It's ok. They'll take it out as soon as you can breathe on our own. I promise." Tony stopped struggling but continued to blink rapidly, trying to control the panic he was feeling at not being able to speak or swallow.

The doctor and a nurse hurried into the room. "Welcome back, Agent DiNozzo," the doctor said reassuringly, checking the various monitors while the nurse reviewed Tony's vitals. Gibbs stepped back but observed Tony's eyes watering and his hands continuing to clutch the sheets. The normally stoic agent appeared to be hovering on the edge of a panic attack.

"Can you take out the tube?" GIbbs asked.

The doctor shook his head, "Not just yet. We need to see how well Tony can breathe without it. There is still some slight swelling in his brain that could effect his respiration and I will need to monitor whether he is capable of breathing without assistance. We'll turn down the vent and leave the tube in for the next hour or so. If Tony is breathing on his own after that, we'll remove the ventilator." The doctor looked back at Tony, "I know this is uncomfortable, but it's really important for you to remain as calm as possible while we monitor your breathing. Will it help if Agent Gibbs stays with you?"

Tony's eyes darted around looking for his boss. Finding Gibbs who had moved closer into his field of vision, Tony nodded and tried to do as the doctor asked, fighting against the urge to swallow. Gibbs pulled the chair closer and covered Tony's hand with his own as the doctor began resetting the ventilator. He knew the next hour would be tough and he wanted to stay where Tony could easily see him.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony really didn't know if he could stand the feeling much longer. He wanted to moan and whimper, but refused to let Gibbs see him give in. Gibbs had stayed by his side the entire time, talking softly and touching his arm reassuringly when he saw Tony tense up or start trembling. Without Gibbs presence, Tony was sure he would have dissolved into panic long ago.

Breathing was a little more difficult than he had hoped--not at bad as having the plague, but still not easy. It was almost as if his body had forgotten what to do, and when he caught his vision fading from lack of oxygen he would remind himself to take a breath. Several times Gibbs had noticed and gently shook him to say, "Come on, Tony, it's time to breathe." It was a very tense hour, and both agents were grateful when the doctor finally announced that he felt confident it would be fine to remove the respirator.

Gibbs placed a hand on Tony's shoulder as a nurse took up position on the other side. The doctor firmly grasped the tube and said, "Ok, Tony, cough while I pull this out."

As Tony coughed the doctor pulled and the tube slipped from his throat. Tony gasped and choked, trying to catch his breath which seemed impossible to do at the moment. He felt a mask on his face and someone from very, very far away instructing him to take slow and steady breaths. Tony could feel his body calming but was too tired to respond. He felt himself slipping away into the gentle darkness and he decided not to fight it.

"Is he alright?" Agent Gibbs asked nervously, watching Tony's eyes slide shut. The doctor finished reviewing his patient's vitals.

"Yes, just exhausted," he replied. "His blood pressure and temperature are still elevated, but he's definitely improved over the last couple of days. Let him sleep a few hours and we'll see how he's doing then."

The doctor looked over at Gibbs, taking in the man's rumpled appearance. "Agent Gibbs, have you even been home since your friend was admitted? You look as if a hot shower and change of clothes might help you out quite a bit. Tony will sleep for at least two or three hours, and it won't do him any good if the one person he seems to count on most collapses from self-neglect," he suggested.

Gibbs sighed. A shower did sound good right now. He glanced at Tony, sleeping soundly despite the mask on his face and perspiration beading on his face. Maybe he could slip out for just a few minutes.

"Ok, Doc, but I'll be right back. You call me if there is any change at all," Gibbs used a tone that left no question about whether the doctor should stay in touch if there were any problems.

The doctor smiled. "Tony is very lucky to have someone like you watching out for him. I will definitely call if there is a need," the doctor agreed.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Less than two hours later, showered, shaved, wearing fresh clothes, and coffee in hand, Gibbs was back in Tony's room. The older man noticed that a nasal cannula had replaced the bulky oxygen mask, but Tony still appeared feverish and sweaty. As Gibbs took his seat by the bed, Tony groaned and began mumbling. "Kate….don't go….." he whispered.

Gibbs leaned closer trying to catch what Tony was saying. Without warning, the younger man's eyes blinked open, still unfocused and glassy. "Gibbs?" he croaked through the sandpaper in his throat.

"Yeah, Tony. You OK? You were having a dream," the Lead Agent explained.

A wisp of a smile crossed Tony's features. "Kate," he said. "She came to see me. So beautiful."

Tony turned his head slightly to face Gibbs. "Jenny was there," he sighed. "She forgives me," a slight pause. "Said to tell you hi."

Gibbs frowned. Obviously Tony had experienced a very vivid dream about his fallen partners. The Senior Field Agent's mind must have been busy while he was unconscious. Gibb's however, wasn't prepared for DiNozzo's next stammered words.

"She's so pretty, boss. Kelly. So pretty. Said she was glad I was here to take care of you. Her eyes are blue, like yours," Tony's whisper faltered and Gibbs had to strain to hear him. Why would Tony dream about Kelly?

"And Shannon. Why didn't you tell me she made up the rules? Misses you boss," his eyes were closing again and he couldn't stop them. Gibbs was listening with a mixture of shock and fascination. "They wouldn't let me stay. Said I had to watch your six….." Tony curled up on his side and drifted back into unconsciousness.

Gibbs leaned back into the chair and rubbed his face. How would Tony know about Shannon and the rules? He had never told anyone about that. It was their secret. Gibbs listened to the monitors and watched the rise and fall of Tony's chest, wondering how to explain what had just happened.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony watched the nurse bring a wheelchair into the room. He shook his head again, opening his mouth to complain about using this method of transportation to get to Gibb's car. Seeing the younger agent's frown and knowing the argument that he was ready to make, Gibbs leveled a cold blue glare, "DiNozzo, don't even say it. You can still barely make it to the head and back, so if you want to get out of here today I suggest you park your ass in that chair and be happy about it."

"_So this is how it's going to be," _Tony thought. No more Mr. Nice Gibbs. Tony stood and swayed slightly, feeling a little light-headed. Even though he was being discharged, the doctor had said it would still be a week or two before the dizzy spells would end, and even though he hated to admit it, he was still weak from his time in prison and the hospital. Before he could collect his thoughts, a firm hand had him by the elbow and was leading him to the wheelchair.

The older nurse who was conducting Tony's discharge chuckled, "I don't think we need to worry about you getting rest and taking care of yourself for the next few weeks, Agent DiNozzo. I don't think you'll get by with much while you're staying with Agent Gibbs."

Tony gave a half-smile, "Yeah, I'm sure he'll tuck me in and read me bedtime stories every night."

Gibbs snorted at the sarcasm, appreciating a little of the old DiNozzo humor. It still wasn't showing up very often, and any glimmer was an encouraging sign. However, the shadows under DiNozzo's eyes and the loose way the Ohio State sweatshirt and jeans were hanging off his frame indicated that Tony was far from recovered.

"Boss, are you sure about this? I really don't think I need a babysitter, I would be just fine at my own place," Tony questioned, shifting uncomfortably in the wheelchair. He was glad that Gibbs and the rest of the team had managed to maintain his apartment for him while he was gone.

"You heard the Doc, DiNozzo. They won't let you leave if you plan to stay on your own because you're still not fit enough to take care of yourself. Plus, someone needs to see if there are any signs of seizures or other complications from the crack in your skull. Personally, I'm hoping to find out it knocked some sense into you, but since that's doubtful I'll at least make sure you eat and don't sit up all night watching movies, " Gibbs teased.

Tony sighed in acceptance as the orderly pushed the wheelchair out of the room and down the hall. He really didn't feel well enough to do anything for himself right now and he knew it, but he still didn't want to be a burden to anyone else, especially Gibbs. The older man had spent most of the last week and a half at his side, at times being extraordinarily _nice, _especially the first few days after Tony woke up and was still pretty out of it. The whole thing had Tony off balance.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Arriving at the neat and tidy shaker cottage Gibbs called home, Tony opened the door and pulled himself out of the car. Happy to find that his legs supported him he started toward the front door, which was suddenly flung open by a squealing Abby. "You're here!", she cried, running down the steps to take Tony by the arm. "We've been waiting forever!"

"We?" Tony asked, as she led him into the house. He stopped in the foyer at the sight of Ziva, Ducky, McGee, and Palmer standing under a sign that said "Welcome Home, Tony."

"Is it too much?" Abby questioned. "I really wanted you to know how much we missed you and how glad we are to have you back even if you are staying at Gibbs and not coming back to work for a few more weeks, but at least now we can see you whenever we want and we don't have to worry any more…."

Tony laughed, "It's great, Abby, thanks. I appreciate it."

As Abby got Tony settled on the couch, McGee brought in several boxes of pizza. "We thought you would be ready for your favorite meal, so we're prepared with three extra large pies loaded with sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese. Then for dessert we have chocolate cake and ice cream. And to top it all off we rented every John Wayne movie we could find so you could have your pick," McGee explained as he began handing out pizza. "I haven't had an excuse to eat this much junk in three months."

Several hours later, most of the food was gone and the team was watching the end of "Big Jake." Tony had fallen asleep on the couch so everyone decided to leave and let him rest. Abby bent down and gave the sleeping man a soft kiss on the cheek. Hands firmly on hips, she faced Gibbs. "You better take good care of him, Mister," she demanded.

Gibbs smiled crookedly at Abby's over-protective nature. "You know it," he replied, kissing her on the cheek as she prepared to go.

Gathering near the door as they put on jackets and found their keys, Ziva observed, concern in her voice, "Tony really didn't eat very much and he barely commented on the movie. Are you sure he's ok, Gibbs?"

Gibbs sighed. He, too, had noticed Tony's quiet behavior. "He'll be fine, Ziva. He just needs some time," Gibbs said softly, hoping it was true.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

As Gibbs walked back into the house, he immediately noticed the sound of Tony groaning and talking in his sleep. Moving closer to the couch, he could see Tony tossing and turning, a pained frown creasing his features as he began to shout. "Stop…..I don't want to hurt you…..don't make me do this…….I won't let you hurt him!" Tony yelled, as his eyes flew open and he sat up, looking around but not really seeing the room.

"Hey, Tony," Gibbs firmly said, trying to bring his friend out of the nightmare and remind him of his surroundings. "You awake?"

Tony blinked rapidly, his eyes darting around the room, confusion evident on his face. For a few minutes he didn't know where he was or how he had gotten there, his breath racing to the point of hyperventilation. In his mind the nightmare was vivid, and he was still back in the prison, fighting for his life. Gibbs walked closer to the agent, placing his hand on Tony's shoulder, "It's alright, you're safe."

Tony looked up and finally caught Gibb's eyes. "Boss," he gasped, trying not to gulp for air and clutching at his chest. "Where…." Tony still glanced around in confusion, his shallow breathing echoing through the silent house.

"You're in my house, DiNozzo. Don't you remember?" Gibbs said delicately, wary of the sweat breaking out on Tony's forehead and the slight tremors shaking his body. The last time the younger man looked this way he had a seizure, and Gibbs didn't want a repeat of _that_ experience.

Tony wanted to answer, but his breathing was nowhere near under control and his head had started to pound. He fought to control the nausea that was building in his throat.

Gibbs squatted down close to the stricken man. "Head hurt?" he asked.

Tony nodded, still unable to form any coherent words. Gibbs grabbed a blanket off the back of the chair and placed it over Tony's shoulders. "Don't move," he ordered.

Quickly walking into the kitchen Gibbs found the bag that contained the medications sent home with Tony from the hospital. Putting on his glasses and reading through the fine print on the bottles, he found the painkillers and anti-seizure medication, shaking out the prescribed amounts. Filling a glass with water, he headed back to the living room. Tony's breathing had evened out a little, but he was still sweating and shaking. His skin had taken on a green pallor and he rubbed at his temples.

"Take these," Gibbs ordered. Tony grimaced at the pills that were stuck under his nose. "That's not a suggestion, DiNozzo."

Deciding not to argue with the stare he was currently receiving, Tony swallowed the medication and sipped some water to wash them down. He handed the glass back with a shaky hand. Gibbs sat in the chair across from Tony. "Wanna talk about it?" he inquired.

Tony swallowed and stared at a spot on the floor. "There was this kid," he began slowly. "Maybe 17 or 18 years old. Skinny, scared, not even sure why he was there. A couple of the gang members kept harassing him, beating him up, and even…..sexually assaulting him. I found one of them beating him really badly, and I decided to stop it. The kid couldn't defend himself." He stared up at Gibbs, trying to explain. "The guy turned on me, attacked and wouldn't stop. I tried to put him down, but nothing seemed to stop him. I finally got him in a choke-hold," Tony's voice was a whisper now, "I held on until he quit struggling. I guess I could have let him go, but I just kept thinking that he'd do it again. So I held on until I knew….."

"It's ok, Tony," Gibbs said.

Tony shook his head, "No, it's not. After the fight, I was stuck in solitary again. By the time I got out it was all over. The gang decided to make an example of that kid and also teach me a lesson. They cornered him one night, and then beat him and raped him until he was begging to die just to end the pain." Pausing Tony turned to stare at Gibbs. "I'm to blame for him dying. If I had just minded my own business…." Tony swallowed hard and realized he couldn't control the bile anymore; he leaned over and vomited on Gibb's hard-wood floor.

Jumping up, Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's back until the younger man stopped retching. "Sorry, boss," Tony choked out, his long body wilting back on the couch.

"You know," Tony said, eyes still closed, "I just don't understand why all this has me so off kilter. I feel like I'm standing outside watching myself, like I left the real Anthony DiNozzo back in Mexico and I can't figure out who this guy is who came back." He opened his eyes and looked tiredly at Gibbs, "Do you think I'm ready for the funny farm yet?"

Gibbs observed his Senior Field Agent with a mixture of pride, concern, and exasperation. "You tried to help that boy, which was the right thing to do. Not many people could have survived what you've been through, so stop beating yourself up about it. _Any_ of it, DiNozzo. You did what was necessary at the time, and that's the end of it. And this," Gibbs indicated the puddle on floor, "is nothing. I'll clean it up later. Right now, you need rest," He took Tony's arm and pulled him off the couch. The medications, combined with the headache and nausea, had left Tony weak and shaky. Feeling the man's knees start to buckle, Gibbs took more of the weight and guided his charge into the spare bedroom. By the time he helped Tony strip to boxers and a t-shirt, the agent was asleep on his feet. Pulling a blanket over the younger man, Gibbs brushed a hand through his brown hair and turned out the light, leaving the door slightly cracked in case Tony woke up again during the night.

As Gibbs walked back down the hallway, he wondered how much more Tony would reveal about his time in prison, and how long it would be until the agent started asking questions about why he had been incarcerated. Gibbs really needed to tell Tony that it was his fault the younger agent had been through this horrifying experience, he just didn't know how. He realized it was unfair to keep these facts from his friend, and if Tony somehow found out on his own it could devastate the fragile trust they had worked so hard to build. Deciding it was time for some bourbon, Gibbs headed for the basement to contemplate how to tell Tony the truth, so they could both start to put this ordeal behind them.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

As Gibbs sanded his latest project, he heard the sound of his front door open and close, then soft footsteps on the stairs behind him. "Wanna drink?" he asked the visitor.

Allison Hart stood motionless behind him. "Sure" she replied, as Gibbs blew dust out of the bottom of a mason jar and poured bourbon into the glass.

He turned and handed her the drink, "Have you got something for me?" he asked the dark-haired attorney.

She sipped and took her time to answer. "Bell is smuggling weapons into the country from Mexico. I haven't been able to find out when his next shipment is coming in, but if I could get that information you should be able to set up an arrest," she explained, twirling the liquid in her glass as she walked around the room.

"Yeah, Allison, I could use that information," Gibbs agreed cooly. "Do you think you can get it?'

"Probably," she replied. "He trusts me, and I have access to most of his records. It might take a little more time, but I should be able to dig up something."

"How is Tony doing?" she asked, stepping closer to Gibbs, moving herself into his personal space.

"Better," the silver haired man answered, wondering where this was heading.

"You need to watch out, Jethro, Bell is having you followed. I overheard him talking to his men about looking for an opportunity to grab Tony again," she glanced at him, her blue eyes locking onto his own. "He takes it as a personal failure that you were able to locate Tony before they were able to finish with their plans. So he intends to pick up where he left off. It was too difficult to do anything while Tony was in the hospital, but now that he's out Bell will be waiting for the right moment to strike."

Gibbs seethed for a moment. He knew this thing with Bell wasn't over, but he had hoped the mercenary would stop targeting Tony and move on to him.

Hart placed her hand on the ex-Marine's arm. "I know that if anyone can eliminate Bell, it's you, Jethro," she explained. "That's why I want to help you."

As she leaned forward, Gibbs could feel her warm breath on his face. She was an intoxicating woman, and difficult to resist. He felt her hand reach up to the back of his neck and her soft lips pressed into his own. Her thin body was molded into his. For a moment, Gibbs returned the kiss, running his fingers through her soft black hair. Then, gently, he pulled away from her.

"We aren't going to do this," he firmly stated, making his intentions clear.

"Why not?" she asked. "You're obviously attracted to me. And I am definitely attracted to you. So why can't we?"

Gibbs really didn't want to hurt her, especially since she was trying to help him. "It's just not right for us. You're a beautiful woman, but I don't feel that way about you, Allison. I'm sorry."

She laughed softly, "The good guys are always the ones who can't let you get close to them." She smiled sadly. "It's ok, Jethro. I know you could never really trust me after my association with Bell. You probably don't trust me right now. I don't blame you." She let a smile play on her lips, "But I still plan to help you."

The atmosphere changed immediately, and Hart was back to business. "Besides, if you can get Bell thrown in jail at least I won't have to deal with him anymore. I'll bring you something more concrete as soon as I can. Just remember, keep an eye on Agent DiNozzo. Bell is definitely planning to attack him again."

She turned and headed back up the stairs. "Good night, Agent Gibbs," she called over her shoulder. "We'll talk again soon."

"Hart," he called out as she paused on the steps. "Be careful," he warned.

She smiled. "I always am, Gibbs." she said. "Especially when it comes to Colonel Merton Bell."

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Later in the night Gibbs went into Tony's room to check on the younger man, who was sleeping fitfully. The covers had been kicked off and he occasionally mumbled something incoherent. Gibbs thought about waking him, but it didn't seem he was having a nightmare, just a bad dream. Pulling the blanket back over the resting agent, he decided to let Tony ride it out and try to get as much sleep as possible.

Sitting down in a chair in the corner, Gibbs considered Hart's warning. Tomorrow he would make Vance arrange a protection detail for Tony. DiNozzo wouldn't like it, but he couldn't take a chance on the young man getting kidnapped again. He had to get Bell out of the picture, but so far they had found nothing to charge the bastard with. He was as slick as they came. What if they never found any evidence against him? _"Then I'll have to change tactics," _Gibbs thought. He had broken the law before when it involved his family, unfortunately it was after the damage was done. This time, he wouldn't let that happen. He would give it a few more weeks, but if nothing changed then rules and boundaries would no longer apply. As the night wore on and Gibbs watched the sleeping man who had somehow become his family, he knew there were no limits to what he would do to protect him from further harm.

Even if it meant sacrificing himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. If I did poor Tony would be whumped in every episode!**

**The entire story is now loaded and ready to post, and since I've started another I decided to just go ahead and add this chapter tonight (there are a total of 8 with an epilogue).**

**Gibbs is a rather bad boy in this chapter--I really debated on how far to let him go, cause I always like to be reminded that he got the second "B" for a reason! And I actually had to go back and re-watch SWAK (I know--poor me--LOL) to get the line in the story right.**

**So I hope you are still enjoying and stick around for the end. And thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews and story alerts! They really make me want to keep writing :)**

An unusual smell awoke Gibbs the next morning. He must have slept later than normal since he could feel sunlight warming his cheek. He sat up and sniffed again, deciding the smell wasn't unpleasant, it was actually pretty nice. He also noticed the aroma of brewing coffee, which definitely had him interested. Padding out of his room toward the sounds he heard coming from his kitchen, Gibbs stopped in the doorway when he saw DiNozzo flipping pancakes on the griddle. Tony didn't turn around as he said, "Good to see you up, sleepyhead. Since you've been showing me so much hospitality I thought I'd return the favor."

Tony grinned as he sat two plates of perfectly browned pancakes on the table. "Don't look so surprised. I'm actually a decent cook when I want to be. And since you and Ducky keep telling me to gain some weight I decided pancakes would be a great place to start," he explained.

Gibbs shook his head and took a seat at the table. "How you feeling?" he asked between bites of what he had to admit were really good pancakes. Tony sat down two steaming mugs of coffee and joined the older man at the table.

"A lot better, actually. My headache is more like a dull throb today, which is an improvement over the pounding sledgehammer from last night." He paused uncomfortably, "Speaking of last night, thanks, Boss, for…..you know….."

Gibbs scolded patiently, "When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I want to help out? You're more than just an agent, Tony, you're like my brother, friend, son….hell, I don't know what to call it, but you're _mine _and somewhere along the way I started to feel like I needed to take care of you. I _want_ to take care of you. And I know you'd do the same for me if I needed it. We're family, DiNozzo. Maybe not in the conventional sense, but anyone who can put up with me for ten years deserves at least that much. Maybe more."

It was a long speech by Gibb's standards, and Tony knew it. He also knew Gibbs well enough to appreciate the emotional statement by the older man. Glancing up sheepishly, Tony simply said, "Got it, Boss."

Gibbs grinned as Tony grabbed the now empty plates to wash off in the sink. He was actually glad to get that off his chest. Leaning back to enjoy his coffee, he barely had time to react when Tony's legs sagged beneath him and the younger man grabbed at the edge of the sink to try and prevent himself from falling over. Tony landed on the floor with a loud thump as his back hit hard on the ceramic tile.

"Hey," Gibbs called out, running over to the crumpled form. Tony was already struggling up on his elbow and rubbing his back. "What happened?" Gibbs asked with concern.

"Don't know," Tony replied weakly. "Just got dizzy all of the sudden. I guess that's what the Doc was talking about, huh?"

"Ya think?," Gibbs said, helping Tony up off the floor and leading him into the living room. "Sit," he pointed at the couch. Tony sat, not really sure if he could stand up by himself anyway. The room was still spinning slightly and the oh-so-familiar pounding had returned to his head.

Gibbs left to gather up meds, a drink, some snacks, Tony's cell phone, and a blanket. He returned to give Tony the required medications, which DiNozzo reluctantly took, and then covered him with the blanket. He then checked Tony's eyes, which seemed to react normally.

"Now," the lead agent said gruffly. "I have to go to work for a few hours. Until I get home you are to stay on that couch. I'll bring Ducky back to take a look at you. Get up only to go the head! Call if you need anything or feel any worse. And I suggest you get a few more hours sleep."

Tony was already tired from the pain killers and making breakfast, so sleep sounded like a decent idea. "I'll not a move a muscle," he yawned, already drifting away.

Gibbs watched as Tony's chest began to rise and fall evenly as he slept. Resisting the urge to brush his fingers through the younger man's hair, which he recognized as a fatherly gesture that he had a difficult time controlling where Tony was concerned, he hoped his friend would find a restful sleep this time, not disturbed by nightmares.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Shutting his phone, Gibbs felt a slight moment of relief. Vance was arranging for a protection detail to be at his house within the hour. At least now Tony would have a few more sets of eyes watching out for him. Unfortunately, Gibbs doubted that would be enough stop Bell. But maybe it would slow him down a little.

Pulling into the parking lot, Gibbs found a space and immediately headed into the building. He had told Tony he needed to go into work this morning, but that had not exactly been the truth. He didn't like lying to his friend, but he knew that Tony would have never let him come here alone. Gibbs walked past security, secretaries, and anyone else he encountered as if he owned the place. He didn't want anyone stopping him until he arrived at his destination. Punching the button in the elevator, he recalled what Cassie Yates had said to him many years ago on another occasion when he was determined to save Tony's life, _"The boss always has the top floor office." _So that's exactly where Gibbs was headed.

The secretary glanced up at his approach. "May I help you?" she asked politely.

"I'm here to see Merton Bell," Gibbs responded.

"Do you have an appointment?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Don't worry, he's been waiting to see me, " Gibbs explained, heading toward the door.

"Wait!" the secretary called, jumping up to try and stop the man.

Gibbs had already thrown the doors open and walked inside.

Bell looked up at the ex-Marine. The two men he was meeting with stopped speaking and stared at the intruder. Bell smiled, a completely humorless, wicked smile.

"Gentlemen, could you excuse us? I have a very important matter to discuss with this guest," he ordered.

The two gave questioning looks, but without a word followed Bell's instructions. Bell pressed a button at his desk, "Marie, please see that I am not disturbed. And no, you do not need to call security. This gentleman and I have some business matters to discuss," he informed his assistant.

Leaning back, Bell provided Gibbs with another cold smile. "So, Special Agent Gibbs, to what do I owe this lovely surprise?"

Gibbs was around the desk in less than a second. He grabbed Bell by the collar and hauled the mercenary to his feet. Leaning into the man's face, Gibbs harshly said, "I'm here to give you a warning, Bell. You can end this now, and stop targeting me and my friends. Or you can keep this up and you'll find out what hell is all about."

Bell laughed, "Oh, Gunny, you really are too much. Does this intimidation routine work on most people? I've already explained to you that it won't work on me. We're cut from the same cloth, Gibbs, and I'm just as much a stubborn bastard as you are." He paused, leaning in until he was inches from Gibb's face. "And I never give up."

Sweeping his arm up, Bell knocked Gibb's hand lose and shoved the NCIS agent away from him. He stalked over and grabbed Gibbs, pushing his back into the wall. "Nothing you say is going to stop me, Gunny. One morning you're going to wake up and your dear DiNozzo will be missing again. And this time I can assure you he'll be dead before you even know he's gone," the man promised.

Gibbs grasped Bell's arm and twisted it behind him, violently switching positions and shoving the mercenaries face into the wall while he hovered next to Bell's ear.

"You do that, Bell. And I swear I will spend every minute of my life hunting you down. Maybe I should just kill you now and get this over with? It would save us both a lot of trouble," Gibbs snarled.

"What, and let your precious little team know that you aren't any better than me? That when push comes to shove you're just a cold-blooded murderer? I know who you are Gibbs; I know what you've done. And that's part of the reason I hate you. You think you are so much better; out for truth and justice, but in the end you're just like the rest of us. A vicious murdering bastard. So go ahead, kill me. And see how long you can keep your façade going," Bell dared.

Gibbs stood there a moment, the words still dripping in the air. _"Dammit,"_ he said silently. _"Dammit all to hell. " _He could imagine himself twisting the man's neck and dropping him to the floor in a lifeless heap. Bell was right, he had done it before and he could do it again. But that would let everyone down, including himself. There had to be another way.

"You don't make the rules, Bell," Gibbs said softly, "I do. So you better have someone watch your six, because I will always be out there waiting for you."

Letting go of the man's arm, Gibbs couldn't resist the urge to kick roughly into the back of Bell's knee sending him crashing to the floor. Without giving the man another glance, Gibbs walked out the door.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony jerked upright and scanned the room, his heart beating rapidly. Where was he? "Oh right," he remembered, Gibb's house. He couldn't really recall what he had been dreaming, but it had left him feeling anxious and restless. Standing up to test his balance, Tony felt a trip to the bathroom was quickly becoming a necessity even if he had to crawl. Fortunately, he seemed to be fine, and made the trip down the hall without incident.

As he walked back into the living room the door opened as Gibbs and Ducky entered. "DiNozzo, what did I tell you?" Gibbs growled after seeing Tony heading back down the hallway.

"Settle down, boss," Tony explained. "You did give me permission to take care of……necessities." He supplied a shy grin to tame the older man's temper.

Ducky made a clucking sound and guided Tony back to the couch, "Well, let's give you a once-over to see if all is as it should be. Then maybe Jethro will be a little less grouchy. I thought Mr. Palmer was going to hide under the autopsy table just to escape the "Gibb's glare."

Tony chuckled a little and settled back to allow the doctor to complete his examination. Glancing at Gibbs, Tony could still see lines of worry around his boss' blue eyes that seemed to be trying to dig some answers out of his soul. Feeling uncomfortable under that gaze, Tony slid further into the couch and began to wonder just how long he could stay under the same roof with Gibbs and not end up like one of Ducky's autopsies--laid open until his heart was exposed.

While Ducky completed his examination and changed the dressing on Tony's healing knife wound, Gibbs made some soup for lunch. After eating, Tony was forced to swallow additional pills, and was then ordered back to bed for the afternoon, despite his protests that he really wasn't tired. The ME had merely smiled indulgently at his patient, pointing out that not only was Tony's blood pressure still elevated, but the constant squinting and rubbing of his eyes indicated a not very pleasant headache. Tony sighed, knowing he was busted, and finally gave in to more rest. As the two older men shuffled him into the spare bedroom and practically tucked him in, DiNozzo continued to proclaim the fact that he was, "Damn tired of sleeping all the time."

"Rest, Tony, that's an order," Gibbs groused as he shut the door with a firm click. Tony sighed and turned on his side, trying to carry out his Boss' command, admitting to himself that the lunchtime medication was making him a bit groggy.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

A short time later, Ducky gathered up his medical bag and headed toward the door, "Anthony really does seem to be doing fine, Jethro. The knife wound is healing nicely. And the moments of dizziness are to be expected based on his head trauma, but as long as they are minor and he continues to take his medication I believe he will continue to improve."

"I hope so, Duck, but you know DiNozzo, he never does anything the easy way," Gibbs observed.

Doctor Mallard paused, then asked a question he had been avoiding since Tony returned, "Has he asked you any questions about the abduction? Knowing our Anthony, I was expecting him to be quite curious about the circumstances."

"No, Ducky, Tony hasn't brought it up at all, which kind of surprised me, too," Gibbs explained. "But I have to say that I haven't been looking forward to answering those questions when they come up. I don't know how to tell him that it was Merton Bell who arranged for him to be thrown in prison, all to get back at me." Gibbs ran his fingers through his silver hair, "And the fact I haven't been able to find one shred of evidence to connect Bell to Tony's kidnapping makes it even worse."

The kindly medical examiner patted his friend on the shoulder, "I realize you want revenge for the brutal treatment Anthony has endured. But that really isn't as important right now, Jethro, as helping our young man get back on his feet. Time will provide you with an opportunity to give Colonel Bell his comeuppance."

Gibbs voice lowered menacingly, "I intend to make sure of that."

As Gibbs shut the door behind the doctor, he paused at a sound behind him. Turning, he walked to the foot of the stairs and stopped, not even looking up. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

"Long enough," Tony responded. When he couldn't fall asleep he had decided to go to the kitchen for a drink. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly.

Gibbs shook his head, "I planned to, Tony, but I wanted to make sure you were ready for it. I guess…..," he paused, "I guess I was trying to protect you for as long as I could."

Tony held onto the wall as he made his way down the stairs. The headache, combined with the drugs he had just taken, were making him feel unsteady and tired. But none of that was enough to quell the rising anger now coursing through his veins.

"So what happened? Tell me everything you know about that bastard," Tony demanded.

"Listen Tony, I will tell you, but come over to the couch and sit down…"

"NO!" Tony yelled, pounding his fist into the wall. "That man is responsible for me losing months of my life! I could have died because of him! You have no right to keep this from me!" the young agent was visibly shaking as emotion poured out of him. "Why," Tony faced down Gibbs worried stare with his own blazing green eyes, "if he wanted revenge against you, why did he come after me instead?"

Gibbs considered his answer. Tony was breathing heavily and beads of sweat had popped out on his forehead. Feeling the need to calm the younger man, he chose the direct approach, "Because, Tony, he knows how I feel about you. He realized that hurting you and leaving me with no way to stop it would be much worse than anything he could ever do to me."

Gibbs watched as the words penetrated Tony's rage. DiNozzo blinked several times and searched for a response. Finally he settled on, "Oh."

"Sit down before you fall down," Gibbs directed, leading Tony to the sofa. DiNozzo still held his jaw clenched tightly and seemed to barely be able to control the desire to lash out at something.

"We can't let him get away with it, Boss. _I _can't let him get away with it," Tony said fiercely. "There has to be a way to make him pay."

Gibbs sat beside his Senior Field Agent and placed his hand on the other man's knee, giving it a light squeeze. "I promise you Tony, no matter how long it takes, we won't stop until we bring him down. And this time he'll be down for good."

Tony considered this for a few minutes, before quietly asking, "Why did it take you so long to find me? Every time I've needed you before you were there, but this time, I waited, and…..you never came." His eyes focused on a spot on the wall. He hated that his voice sounded small and whiny. "I finally gave up. I never wanted to give up on you."

Gibbs let out a slow breath. "Tony, we searched every day. Bell is a master at this--we had no idea where you were. There were no leads, nothing. Somehow your name turned up on a list of American prisoners that McGee accessed. If that hadn't happened…." he shook his head.

Reaching out, Gibbs lifted Tony's chin so he could look in the younger man's eyes. "I would have never stopped searching for you. Never! Just like I will never stop until Bell has paid for what he did to you. One way or another. That's a promise. And I never break a promise. You got that?" he asked.

Tony took a minute to let the other man's cool demeanor wash over him. His answer brought a faint smile to Gibb's lips.

"Gotcha, boss."

_NCISNCISNCIS_

The man sitting in a parked car down the street from Gibb's house put down his binoculars and picked up the phone. "Yeah, Colonel, there's a protection unit in place now. They haven't moved all day. So what do you think? Just keep watching?" the man asked.

Colonel Bell thought for a moment, absently rubbing his still aching leg, "Yes, just follow them for now. We'll wait for the right opportunity. Plus, it will give Agent Gibbs more time to worry about our next move. But remember, if you get an opening to grab DiNozzo, don't hesitate. We want to take any advantage that presents itself."

"Got it," the man replied, ending the call.

Bell turned in his chair and stared out the window. No one disrespected him the way Gibbs had and got away with it. No one. He would make Agent Gibbs pay, and pay dearly.

And unfortunately for Anthony DiNozzo, Gibb's payment was going to cost him his life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, I just borrow them sometimes.**

**This chapter moves us toward the final confrontation with Col. Bell. I added a few things just for me, like the fact it bugs me that Ziva (although I like her) always beats everybody up while Tony watches. I hope the way I address this is somewhat realistic, if not forgive me :)**

**A little bit of angst, a lot of plot, and tomorrow we fight it out with Bell. As always, thanks to those who review and story alert--it really makes my day!**

After several weeks of convalescence the two men settled into a well-run routine. Following breakfast together, Gibbs would head to work and Tony would exercise, either running or hitting the gym. He couldn't do much at first, but continued to push himself, not only so he could return to work faster, but also because he rather liked the new physique he had developed in the last few months. It had been easy to lose the habit of exercising after college, but now that he was adding some muscle and had lost some extra weight he didn't want to stop. He liked feeling physically stronger and wondered why he hadn't kept himself in tip-top shape to begin with. He also knew that when an opportunity presented itself to take on Merton Bell, he wanted to be ready. Bell was now officially his great white whale.

What Tony didn't like was the protection detail, one or two NCIS agents who were constantly hovering outside of Gibb's house and following him everywhere he went. Tony insisted they were unnecessary, and demanded Gibbs relieve them, which the Lead Agent completely ignored. Finally, Tony gave up and proceeded to treat the men like an annoying rash, something he didn't like but couldn't get rid of.

When he finally felt well enough, Tony signed up for a martial arts class, and he even asked Ziva to start showing him "some of that Mossad-ninja shit" that she did so well. Ziva agreed, and was pleasantly surprised at how seriously her partner took the training sessions.

Noticing that Tony had still neglected to get his long and unruly hair cut, Abby came by and took him to her favorite salon. Normally, Tony would only let one particular stylist cut his hair, but this time he really didn't seem to care. After much consultation between the hair dresser and Abby, Tony left with his hair short, spiky, and highlighted blonde. His happy friend took him by the arm as they left the salon and explained how she felt the "lightened up" look would help bring back some cheerfulness to him. As they walked past a tattoo parlor, Abby raised an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look. Tony had to laugh as he said, "I'm not quite there yet, Abs, but I'll let you know." She sighed with disappointment as they kept on walking, Abby explaining how hot he would be with a cool shoulder tat.

On one of their outings, during which Tony had been particularly quiet, Abby reluctantly asked, "Tony, are you thinking about leaving us?"

The question took him off guard. He considered for several minutes before answering, "Not really, Abby. I don't know, sometimes I think it would be easier to just start over somewhere without all the baggage. But to be honest, I don't know what I would do without you and Gibbs." He shrugged. "So I guess you guys are stuck with me. No matter how messed up I am."

Abby smiled sincerely, "You are not messed up, Anthony DiNozzo. Your biggest issue is you can't see just how great the rest of us think you are. But I plan to keep reminding you every chance I get! You understand me, buster?"

Tony could never resist Abby's quirky logic. "I understand, my gothic beauty," he said and squeezed her hand.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

As Tony ran along the jogging path, he noticed today's protection detail falling further and further behind. Tony grinned and picked up the pace. _"Guess Agent Deacon had one too many jelly doughnuts for breakfast,"_ he thought, not caring if he was pulling further out of the man's sight.

As Tony passed through a section of trees, a dark figure suddenly burst out of the shadows and ran straight for him, knocking Tony off his feet and down a small embankment. Rolling to his knees, Tony noted the attacker reaching inside his coat for a gun. Instinctively, Tony looked around for a weapon, clutching at a large rock laying at his feet. Lunging forward, Tony quickly struck out at the man, knocking the gun from his hand and then viciously striking the assailant on the head with the rock.

The man dropped to the ground and lay still, blood coursing from the open wound at his temple. Tony raised the rock in his hand again, adrenaline, anger, and exhilaration rushing through his veins. As he readied to once more strike the unmoving figure, Tony's mind caught up with his body and he momentarily paused. What was he doing? Was he planning to beat a defenseless man to death with a rock? What was wrong with him? Trembling, Tony dropped the stone and fell backward, shaking and cursing at himself. What kind of animal had he become?

Agent Deacon came huffing into view. "Tony, are you ok?" he called down from the top of the hill. _"Gibbs is going to kill me if anything has happened to him," _the man thought with fear.

"I'm fine," Tony called back. "But this other guy doesn't look so good. You better call a squad." A pause. "I'll call Gibbs," Tony added reluctantly.

"_Thank God,"_ Agent Deacon thought.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Gibbs snapped his phone shut and glared at Tony with more rage than the Senior Field Agent had seen directed at him in months. "Well I guess we won't be interrogating that suspect anytime soon," he growled.

Ziva raised a questioning eyebrow. "He died on route to the hospital," Gibbs explained. Turning on Tony, the frustrated Lead Agent bellowed, "Did you have to _kill_ him, DiNozzo?"

Tony swallowed and blinked rapidly at the accusation, which hit a little too close to home at the moment. "Well, I guess I could have let him kill me first then you would have had a nice, intact suspect to question. Would that have been better?" Tony responded, as McGee sucked in a breath and waited for Gibbs to explode.

Instead, the older agent merely stopped speaking and looked intently at Tony, before turning on his heel and ordering the team members to gather every piece of evidence they could find. Tony offered to help, but Gibbs pointedly reminded him that he was still on medical leave and he couldn't be involved.

Tony watched as Gibbs reamed out Agent Deacon, to the point that if the man had possessed a tail, it would have been thoroughly tucked between his legs. Finally, the unfortunate agent was allowed to skulk away, head bowed in embarrassment. Gibbs was on the phone demanding a replacement, someone who was, "More physically fit and less completely incompetent."

Ducky arrived and insisted on checking Tony out, despite the fact the younger man showed no signs of injury. "Just to be safe," he persisted, in full-on mother hen mode.

After Dr. Mallard gave him a clean bill-of-health and departed, Tony sat for a few more minutes watching the others, before quietly gathering himself up and informing them that since his presence obviously wasn't required, he was going home, or rather to Gibb's place, and they could call him if they needed anything else.

He could feel Gibb's gaze on his back as he walked away, but never turned to acknowledge the other man.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Several hours later Gibbs arrived home, finding Tony sitting on the couch in the dark. A collection of empty beer bottles were scattered on the table in front on him. Gibbs sighed, knowing he hadn't handled the younger man very well that afternoon.

"Trying to save on the electric bill?" he asked, turning on the light.

Tony squinted and looked up at him, his expression troubled. "Sorry about what I did, Boss," he said, his voice soft and slightly slurred. "I really didn't mean to kill that guy."

"I know you didn't, Tony. I shouldn't have said that to you," he explained. "I was just frustrated and to be honest, a little scared. I'm not sure we're going to be able to protect you from Bell."

"Look, Boss, I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for years. So trust me a little bit, ok?" he asked.

Gibbs considered Tony's words, "I trust you, Tony. It's everybody else I worry about."

Tony stood, his expression unreadable, "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

Without another word, Tony headed for his room. Gibbs watched him go, and wondered what was going on in his Senior Field Agent's head.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Within six weeks DiNozzo was cleared for field duty, much to the surprise of Ducky and his doctors. As a result of the hard work, his body was returning to form without much difficulty.

His mind, on the other hand, was a different matter.

Those close to him noticed the changes, alterations to his personality that were both an improvement, but somehow disconcerting. There were no paper wad battles with McGee, he didn't try to read Ziva's mail, and the movie references had yet to return. There were still flashes of the DiNozzo charm, and the warm smile appeared at the appropriate times, but he was much quieter and more subdued than any of his team had ever seen him. He wasn't even wearing the trademark designer suits anymore, but had started showing up for work in khakis and pullover shirts whenever possible. The others weren't sure quite what to make of it.

He returned to work at a ferocious pace, sending out BOLO's, looking up dirt on scumbags, and analyzing evidence as if his life depended on it. Observing from his desk across the bullpen, Gibbs silently wondered if his life _did _depend on it. Vance even noticed the change, commenting to Gibbs that he had never realized how truly valuable Tony's contribution was to the team. Despite the fact he could not figure out what was going on with DiNozzo, the admission from the Director made the Team Leader smile.

Finally, the new demeanor got the best of McGee, who took advantage of being alone in the elevator with Tony to ask, "What's up with you, man? You just had the perfect opportunity for a "Silence of the Lambs" reference and you passed it by without even a "Quid quo pro, Clarice." What have you done with the real Tony?"

Tony glanced over at the younger man and wondered how to answer his question. Normally, he would make a glib comment and turn the focus back on the other agent. Instead, he looked straight ahead and said quietly, "I guess I decided it might be time to grow up a little, Tim. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Uh, I guess not, Tony," McGee replied, thrown off guard at the honest statement. "Just remember, the old Tony wasn't all bad. I kind of miss him sometimes."

"So, are you asking me to torture you, Probie?" Tony playfully asked, unable to resist the opening.

"Well, no Tony, it's not like I want you to superglue my hands to my keyboard or anything," he paused, trying to think of how to explain. "But hearing you pick on Ziva was always kind of fun, even if it was a little bit dangerous."

Tony grinned and tried to let some of the tension slip from his muscles. These little exchanges were making him feel more settled, but he still felt tied in a knot most of the time, and he wasn't really sure why. Maybe if they could finally catch a break with Bell he would start to feel better. As he walked back to his desk and dropped his backpack on the floor, he wondered if he even wanted to go back to being the "old Tony." The game had been getting old for a while, and frankly he was getting tired of it.

Before he had time to even sit down and think, Gibbs was striding across the bullpen. "DiNozzo, with me," he commanded, not even slowing down. Tony grabbed his gear and headed back toward the elevator.

"What's up, Boss?" he asked, noting the tightened jaw of his team leader.

"A dead body, DiNozzo. Fornell called, it's an FBI thing, but he thought we might want in on it," the jaw muscle twitched again.

"Oookayy," Tony said, trying to figure out where this was going, but not knowing if he should push Gibbs in his current state of mind.

Gibbs walked in silence until they were both settled in the car. Finally, Gibbs looked at Tony. "It's Allison Hart. They found her in an alley with her throat cut. Fornell said it looks like a mugging gone bad," Gibbs explained with a touch of guilt coming through.

"Tony, I asked her to help me find evidence to arrest Merton Bell. She said she would try. I'm probably responsible for her death," the guilt continued to edge its way into Gibbs voice.

Tony took in this new information. "Listen, Boss, we don't know what happened yet, so remember rule number……hell, I don't know, but I'm sure you have a rule about jumping to conclusions. So let's go find out what happened before you start beating yourself up over it," Tony reasoned.

Gibbs slammed on the gas and peeled out of the parking lot, screeching tires and sending Tony sliding into the door. "I knew I kept you around for a reason," he sneered, hell-bent on finding out what happened and connecting it to that piece of scum Bell. He now had more than one reason to want the man behind bars, or better yet, six feet under. Glancing at the grim look on DiNozzo's face, he decided they would probably have to fight it out to see which one got to wring Bell's neck first.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

The piercing blue eyes of M. Allison Hart were even more haunting in death. The cold blue orbs were now staring straight ahead forever; her perfect red lips never revealing the mysteries they beheld. Gibbs sighed and walked over to Fornell.

"Any idea what happened?" he asked the grizzled FBI agent.

"We got some bystanders, they heard a scream and headed over to check it out. They saw a man run away, but he was in the shadows and they couldn't give a description. Hart was already bleeding out on the ground, her throat sliced open so she couldn't speak. Our forensics people are processing the scene, but it doesn't look like there is much to follow up on," Fornell explained. "She had your card in her purse, so I decided to give you a call."

"I asked her to find some information on Merton Bell. I was supposed to meet her later tonight--she had something to give me," Gibbs stated. "Did she have anything on her?"

Fornell sighed, "Nothing. Her car was parked a few blocks away and we haven't found anything there, either. Do you know what she wanted to pass on?"

"No, but she said we could use it to get an indictment against Bell. He must have found out she was going to turn him in," anger flared behind Gibb's eyes. He turned around, paced a few steps, then threw his coffee cup into a nearby wall, "Dammit! We're never going to get that bastard!"

Tony had been quietly standing to the side observing the exchange. Finally, he spoke, "You know, boss, I bet the Feds haven't had time to check out her apartment yet. We might just drop by, see if anything is……amiss?"

Fornell and Gibbs both stared the younger man down. "Or not," he added.

Gibbs grinned, "Oh, I don't know, DiNozzo, we might be able to run by her place real quick."

Fornell scratched his beard and shook his head, "Well you better make it very quick. I'll hold our boys off here as long as I can, but if you're still around when we get there it won't be good. And Gibbs, I do expect you to share whatever you find."

"Just like I shared my ex-wife?" Gibbs challenged and Fornell shifted uncomfortably. "You know I will Tobias," he added, putting the FBI agent out of his misery.

Gibbs took a moment to look over the lifeless body of Allison Hart. He had definitely felt an attraction to the woman, and had considered seeing what might happen between them. But her connection to Bell had been too strong, and it would always have prevented him from trusting her. "Make sure they take care of her, Tobias. She was trying to help us."

"I'll see to it," the FBI agent replied, watching as Gibbs and DiNozzo walked back to their car.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Tony and Gibbs strode from the elevator and back into the bullpen. The two agents had quietly entered Hart's home and found an envelope addressed to Gibbs, which the Lead Agent now carried with him. McGee and Ziva both looked up from their desks, having no idea where the their co-workers had disappeared to earlier in the day.

"What's up, Boss?" McGee questioned.

"We've got a lead on Merton Bell. I need to know where he might be receiving a shipment of illegal weapons. Check it out, McGee," he demanded.

"On it, Boss," McGee replied quickly. "Uh, how do I do that, Boss?"

Gibbs threw the manila envelope on McGee's desk. "Use this. These documents detail information about Bell's weapons smuggling operation, among other things. Based on the time schedule, it looks like a delivery is going to be made tonight. And we had better be there!" he nearly shouted.

Tony settled behind his desk and powered up his computer. "McGee, you look through financials and phone records. Ziva and I can check out if Bell owns any properties that might be used as a drop-off," Tony ordered. "Look for anything that could point to either a dealer or a shipment location."

"I'm going for coffee," Gibbs groused as he swept to the elevator.

"So where did you guys go?" McGee asked. "And where did you get the documents?"

"It appears that our intrepid leader made a pretty big impression on Allison Hart and convinced her to dig up evidence on Colonel Bell. The information is from her," he explained. Tony's voice softened, "Unfortunately, she died getting it."

"Hart is dead?" Ziva repeated, shocked at the news.

"Yeah. I don't think Bell liked his spy deciding to spy on him instead," he elaborated, shaking his head at the unexpected development.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

After several hours the trio of agents narrowed down the possibilities for a drop-off to a warehouse near the docks owned by a subsidiary company of Bell Enterprises.

"According to the documents we found in Hart's house, the shipment should come in tonight at around 2300 hours," Tony summarized. "We still aren't sure of the supplier, but it looks like this warehouse would offer the best site for bringing in the weapons undetected." He stared expectantly at Gibbs, waiting to see if the older man would allow him his chance for vengeance.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. "Alright, then, grab your gear. Let's be ready for him. I want this bastard sitting in a cell by morning," the Team Leader demanded, heading for the elevator as his team fell into step behind him. Ziva glanced at Tony, whose jaw was set in grim determination. He slipped on his sunglasses and stood still and silent, his look one she had seen many times on the faces of men ready to face their most hated foes. She silently wondered if Bell would ever make it to see the inside of a cell. _"If Tony has his way,"_ she thought, _"probably not."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I am not lucky enough to own NCIS.**

**The last chapter! (Although there will be an epilogue tomorrow). I hope it wraps things up effectively. I had to manipulate events a little to get all the characters where I wanted them to be, so I hope it stays fairly logical.**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews, I love to hear from everyone! It really is great to know that so many people have enjoyed my story. Even though I write for fun, reviews make me want to write more--and faster!**

Waiting at the dock, Gibb's gut was churning. Something about the entire operation was off, he just couldn't pinpoint what. He glanced over from his position at Tony and Ziva, both hunched down behind oil drums near the entrance of the warehouse. McGee was stationed near the gate, waiting to alert them should anyone approach the facility.

After an hour of surveillance, their patience was rewarded as a large truck and two dark sedans entered the parking lot and drove to the loading doors. Two burly men exited the truck and four others stepped from each car. Using a small set of binoculars, Tony identified one of the men as Colonel Bell. _"Gotcha now," _he thought, anxious for his chance to pay Bell back for what had been done to him. The warehouse doors were opened and the truck was driven inside; the heavily armed men followed on foot.

Gibbs spoke into his walkie-talkie, "McGee, call for backup and get up here with me. Tony, Ziva around back. I'll enter from the front."

Several minutes later the agents were in position. They observed as the truck was opened and a large box removed. Bell approached the crate and ordered two of his men to remove the lid. Reaching inside, the Colonel lifted out a semi-automatic weapon which he began inspecting carefully. Seeming satisfied, the lid was replaced and Bell signaled for a man holding a briefcase to approach. Snapping open the case, Bell produced multiple stacks of money, which the two men from the truck grinned at and started counting.

"How long on that backup?" Gibbs quietly radioed McGee, who was still outside the warehouse.

"About fifteen minutes," McGee replied, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. "Do you think we have that long?"

"Nope," his Boss replied.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Ziva glanced over at her partner, who was clutching his Sig and staring intently at Merton Bell. His usually playful green eyes were dark and clouded. She could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. "Tony," she said softly, "are you sure you're ready for this?"

His gaze never wavered from his target. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life," he replied coldly.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Gibbs was considering his next move when his gut ratcheted up another notch. Too late, he noticed a sound behind him and turned his head to see the barrel of a gun pointed at his head. The thug holding the gun grinned sadistically and ordered the agent to stand. With no other option, Gibbs stood and was forced out into the open toward Bell and his cohorts.

"Well, well, nice of you to join us, Agent Gibbs," the Colonel stated smoothly. "We weren't expecting you, but it's always nice to entertain extra guests."

Gibbs smirked, "In just a few minutes you're going to have more guests than you can handle, Bell."

Walking over to the man he loathed, Bell smiled cruelly. "So have you heard from my Attorney lately? I was under the impression you two might have had a date tonight." Sighing and stepping closer to the Lead Agent, Bell whispered, "It's a shame that such a lovely creature as Allison had to pay for your interference in my business. I would think after what transpired with young Agent DiNozzo you would have learned to stay out of my affairs."

Observing from across the room, Tony bristled at the sight of Bell whispering something to Gibbs. He watched with barely contained rage as Colonel Bell moved closer to the man he considered more than a boss or partner, but a father as well. He vowed silently that he would die before he would let Bell harm one silver hair on the older man's head. Ziva rested her hand on Tony's arm, her eyes urging him to wait for their opportunity and to stay calm. Tony nodded, waiting but poised to strike out at a moment's notice.

"So what's your next move, Bell? You can't possibly think we're going to let you walk out of here alive," Gibbs chided. He wanted to look around to find Ziva and Tony, but he had to trust that his agents would be able to handle the rapidly escalating scenario. "This is a no-win situation for you," Gibbs added confontationally, staring the man down. He wanted all of Bell's attention on him.

Quietly appraising his opponent, Bell suddenly and without warning aimed his gun at Gibbs and shot the agent below the knee. Gibbs cried out in unexpected pain, falling to the ground and grasping at his injury, blood seeping through his fingers.

Bell turned to face the dark corners of the warehouse. "I know that Gibbs wouldn't be here without his team behind him, so I suggest that if you don't want the a bullet to land between his eyes, you had better step forward now," the Colonel called out loudly. Gibbs glared up at Bell from the concrete floor, his eyes sending daggers at the piece of filth he would like to send straight to hell. "Don't do it," the Team Leader yelled, barely able to get the words out before Bell kicked him hard in the gut, cutting short anything else he might say to the agents.

Tony and Ziva exchanged looks. If they surrendered all three of them would surely die. But not surrendering would send their Boss to his grave. Shrugging at their lack of options, Tony prepared to stand and step forward. He was not going to let Gibbs face Bell alone.

It was at that moment, however, that McGee decided to join the party.

A bullet sped through the air and struck one of Bell's men in the side, doubling him over. Another mercenary was hit in the back of the head, spraying blood and brain onto the man next to him who was quickly downed by a bullet to the shoulder. Bell's other men quickly took cover and started returning fire at their unknown assailants, as bullets ricocheted throughout the warehouse.

Without thinking, Tony leapt forward and ran through the hail of gun fire to the side of his Boss. Somehow he managed to arrive without being wounded by the shots spraying around him. He grabbed the other man by the shoulders and drug him across the floor to a pile of empty wooden crates and propped the injured agent upright.

Steely blue eyes tore into cold green. "Are you crazy? You could have gotten yourself killed with that insane move. "

Tony grinned, "Sorry, Boss, one of DiNozzo's rules. Never leave a friend out in the open during a fire fight to get himself shot to death. Couldn't help it." He sobered quickly. "You ok?" he asked, checking on the other man's wounded leg.

Gibbs shifted his weight then looked down at the bloody hole and frowned, "Yeah, I think I'll live, assuming we get out of this. What the hell is going on?"

Another grin from Tony, "I'm guessing that good ole Agent McGee was able to get backup here a little earlier than expected. Kind of evens out the odds, huh?"

More shots and grunts of pain caught their attention as Tony peered out from behind the crate to appraise the situation. Ziva was picking off bad guys from her spot across the room, and gunfire continued to rain down from higher levels in the warehouse.

"From what I can tell, Boss, I'd say we have two, maybe three mercenaries left to take out. I can't tell where Bell is hiding," he scanned the room repeatedly searching for the man he was itching to kill, or at least seriously maim. From the dark corner of the room, Tony noticed Bell's head peak out from behind cover, followed by the flash of a gun.

"Found him! Hang on, Boss, I'll be right back," Tony said as he scooted into the shadows, carefully making his way toward the area where Bell was hiding.

"Tony!" Gibbs called, "Wait!" Barely pausing to glance back over his shoulder, Anthony DiNozzo winked and was gone. "Dammit!" Gibbs bellowed, smashing his hand into the floor. "He had better not get his fool self killed," his mentor thought, cursing his wound for leaving him behind.

_NCISNCISNCIS_

Soundlessly making his way around the darkened edges of the warehouse, Tony observed his quarry changing positions. Glancing above, he could see McGee and several other agents carefully moving across the second floor. A shot from one of the mercenaries sent the NCIS agents diving for cover. Getting closer, Tony noticed Bell moving into a spot closer to Ziva, who was now standing and taking aim at the remaining two mercenaries who were pinned down behind several boxes. The Colonel must have decided he could use the female agent as a hostage to try and negotiate his escape. Before Tony could get close enough to prevent what was happening, Bell lunged forward and knocked the former Mossad officer to the ground. Her gun clattered loudly to the floor, well out of her reach.

To the credit of her training, Ziva came up fighting, striking out at her attacker. Unfortunately, Bell's size and his own military training gave him the upper hand. Pinning her arm behind her back, Bell twisted viciously, ordering his captive to stop struggling before he broke the appendage. He pressed his gun into the side of her neck and hissed at her to be still.

Tony considered taking a shot at Bell, but the angle and positioning of Ziva in front of the Colonel made it impossible to guarantee that he would not wound his partner in the process. Instead, he slipped closer to Bell, waiting for the right moment to make a move.

Ziva, despite the size disadvantage, was having none of the situation, unexpectedly going completely limp in the mercenaries arms. Bell was thrown off balance, never seeing Tony barrel up behind him like the Ohio State football player the agent had once been. As Tony slammed himself into the man's torso Ziva was thrown to the side, her head making a solid crack as it connected with the corner of one of the storage containers. Dazed, she sank to the ground.

Distracted by his partner's moan, Tony briefly turned in her direction. Bell quickly jabbed an elbow into Tony's ribcage, doubling the agent over, then the ex-Marine kicked Tony in the wrist, causing DiNozzo's grip on his Sig to loosen. He watched helplessly as the gun slid beneath an overturned crate. Bell stepped back and laughed, tossing his own weapon aside, "I'm out of ammo anyway. But don't worry, Agent DiNozzo, I'll enjoy breaking your neck just as well."

Tony didn't hesitate, but flung himself at the Colonel, landing a solid punch on the man's jaw and rocking him backwards. His next punch was blocked by Bell, who kicked Tony in the stomach and hit him on the back of the neck, knocking Tony to the ground. Barely taking time to catch his breath, Tony rolled over and kicked the former Marine's feet out from under him, bringing Bell to the ground as well. Jumping on top of the prone form, Tony curved his muscled arm around the neck of the man in a choke-hold. Squeezing without remorse, Tony could hear the mercenary gurgling and gasping, trying to breathe despite the grip closing off his airway.

Tony's face bulged and he strained with the effort to hold his grasp on Bell's neck. His mind was blank, filled only with rage and an overwhelming desire for revenge. He took his free hand and wrapped it around his other wrist, squeezing even harder. Bell's hands were grasping at Tony's forearm, but the beating fingers were quickly losing their battle as oxygen was deprived to the Colonel's brain. Tony could feel the life ebbing away from his tormentor, and he tightened his grip once more waiting for the struggling to cease.

"Tony," a soft voice broke through his senses. "Tony--stop. Let him go."

_Gibbs._ DiNozzo glanced up and saw his boss leaning against McGee, who was staring at him with a mixture of fascination and fear. "We have him now, Tony, you don't have to do this," the voice was steady and calm.

Tony stared down as Bell's hands fell away from his arm. Did he have to do this? Was Merton Bell's death necessary for him to go on with his own life? At one time he thought that it was--but now, he wasn't so sure. He felt a hand on his shoulder and the steadying grip reminded him that no, another death was not the answer.

And Tony let go.

Bell began gasping and sputtering, heaving gulps of air into his deprived lungs. Tony stood, turned from the man on the floor, and walked back toward Gibbs and McGee. He noticed Ziva who was now sitting against the crate, rubbing her blood streaked temple. She looked up at him, smiled, then her mouth opened and her eyes grew wide.

Time slowed. Tony could hear the sound behind him and somehow he _knew_ what was happening without even seeing it. Bell had reached out from his spot on the floor and grabbed Tony's loose gun. McGee, still supporting the injured Gibbs, could not move in time to stop him. The Colonel staggered to his feet and took aim at Tony's back.

Tony dove forward, and the move probably saved his life. Still, he could feel fire from a bullet tearing through his shoulder as he rolled to the ground. Grabbing Ziva's dropped gun, Tony continued rolling, stopping in a crouch from which he took aim and fired, watching as the slug drove itself into a hole between the eyes of Colonel Merton Bell. Bell's lifeless body fell to the floor with a heavy thud.

For a few moments all that could be heard was the heavy breathing of the four NCIS agents. The moment stretched on as no one knew exactly what to say. Then, suddenly, the warehouse burst into life. The backup agents came rushing forward, clearing the scene and subduing the remaining mercenaries. Paramedics rushed inside, checking the wounded team members. Ziva was evaluated for the effects of a concussion. Gibbs, the most seriously injured, was placed on a stretcher to stabilize his wound and start an IV of painkillers and antibiotics. Tony was patched up to stop the bleeding from the through and through in his shoulder and ordered to sit and wait for a second ambulance. Taking a seat on a box next to his Boss' gurney, Tony watched Ducky and Palmer zip Colonel Bell into a body bag and prepare him for transfer to the morgue. Surprisingly, he felt little satisfaction at knowing the man was dead.

Gibbs watched his Senior Field Agent, his heart going out to the young man. The Lead Agent knew for a fact the hollow victory of killing those you hate. Although the revenge was sweet, ultimately it didn't change anything. "Hey, DiNozzo, lean over here," he commanded.

As Tony moved closer to the stretcher, he felt a hand connect to the back of his head. "That's for leaving when I told you to stay," the words were firm, but lacked their usual harshness. "But other than disobeying a direct command, you did good today," Gibbs added with a smile.

Tony grinned and cradled his arm against his aching shoulder, his gaze captured by Palmer wheeling Bell's body past them. "Thanks, Boss," he said. "I think I needed that."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own NCIS.**

**My first fanfic is complete! Thanks for all the support, and I hope to be back soon :)**

Taking a drink of his beer, Tony leaned against the deck at Gibbs' place and looked up at the night sky. The evening was warm and clear, with hundreds of stars twinkling in the heavens. "Dammit," the curse echoed out of the open patio doors.

"You ok in there, boss? Need any help?" Tony asked.

"Nah, just trying to get used to this damn boot. Chow will be done in five," the ex-marine nearly yelled, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor and muttering from the somewhat incapacitated cook.

Tony chuckled and took another drink. He and Gibbs had been out of the hospital for a couple of days and were trying to figure out how to work around their injuries. Tony's shoulder still throbbed whenever he moved too quickly, but he had thrown away the sling he had been sent home with, determining it to be too restrictive. Gibbs was hobbled by crutches and a boot on his leg which had been broken by the bullet from Bell's gun. Neither agent was too happy about the recovery needed for their injuries.

He had been thinking about moving back into his own place, but didn't want to leave until Gibbs was better able to get around on his own. Even with a bum shoulder, Tony could still help out and repay some of the kindness the older man had shown him over the years. It was actually nice to have the chance to do that for Gibbs.

All in all, there were several things Tony felt were pretty nice right now. And it wasn't because Bell was out of the picture. Actually, killing Bell had done little to make him feel better, although it had provided some resolution. No, he mused, he realized that out of everything he wanted in the world, he had most of it right here. He had a great brother and sister in McGee and Abby. Ziva, well that was an issue he would have to deal with eventually, since he really wasn't sure what he felt for her, although he was certain it wasn't always sisterly. Maybe one day he would think about having something more with her, but there was time to figure that out. And Gibbs---if he had ever doubted the bond they shared, he didn't doubt it now. It was calming and reassuring to know, with certainty, that the grumpy old marine would always be around when he needed him.

And that, Tony decided, was enough.

He wasn't certain where the rest of his life was headed; professionally he needed to get back on track and determine if he ever wanted his own team. He had delayed that decision far too long. Personally, he needed to re-establish his somewhat dormant love-life. For a long time he had avoided dealing with either issue, but now, he wanted to attack them both full force. It was time for Tony DiNozzo to get his mojo back. It might not exactly be the same Tony he used to

be, but he hoped it would be a better Tony, more focused, and more at peace with himself.

"DiNozzo, quit your stargazing and get your ass in here before this food gets cold," Gibbs called out to him.

"You know, Boss," Tony replied, walking through the doors and into the kitchen, "that fight with Bell in the warehouse, it kind of reminded me of a movie….Lethal Weapon, 1988, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey. I'm kind of like Mel Gibson, but you aren't really like Danny Glover, except you are getting kind of old for this….."

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs barked.

Tony ducked a head-slap and smiled, realizing that after a long time away, he had finally made it back home.


End file.
